Slimdude

okay i have managed to crawl in here 2 update.

 this will have 2 b short, i think. there is no way 2 sit and type comfortably enuff rite now. i am in good spirits. went 2 doctor yesterday. ordeal. getting in and out of car and wheelchairs, etc…

now slightly better drugs r helping.

rumors of “longer” medically authorized leave perhaps for me to heal…

trying 2 stay happy, on couch watching lots of tv, but oh well… could b worse! i have a loving wife and my son… oh wow the things he has done and is doing lately i wish i could write all about it but i just cant sit here for that long.

diet is great. i eat between 1200-1500 cals per day depends on my hunger level. everyday in the afternoon i treat myself 2 a slice of that pumpkin pie from hungrygirl’s recipes and a big mug of sf cappucino.

last time i stepped on the scale i was 145 so i’m updating my ticker to that.

diet really must b everything because i know people who r so active but eat like crap and cant lose weight.

but here i am barely move at all and just watching what i eat and how much i am doing great.

it helps a lot that even tho the inclination is there, i am not crawling to the kitchen at 2am to binge.

—matt

Good day, BSers! Mentally, I feel okay. Physically, I feel at one of my all-time worst levels ever. Friday night… chasing him around coupled with lifting him into the crib… oh my god, my back feels like it is shattered into a million pieces. I have shooting pains down my leg and my knees and feet ache. It is times like these when I wish I had some Lortabs or some Darvocets that I could take and drift back to sleep. Even coming in here and sitting in this uncomfortable-ass office chair is work enough.  It hurts. I am in pain. Enuff said.

I felt really bad for my wife having to get home yesterday evening after that long car trip (6 hours…??) and the house was a disaster. I worked really hard Friday and Saturday to tend to our son, chasing him around and changing him and you just don’t realize how much work that is when you are in so much pain. But we did have a good time overall and I don’t regret my decision and I did not tell my wife about the lifting-him-into-the-crib thing because there is no point in making her feel guilty about it. I did what I did and I do not regret it. I’m sure if I just take it easy today and maybe tomorrow I’ll feel good again.

But I still felt badly that the house is in such dissarray and she will have to clean it all up AND she has to get ready for Thanksgiving on Thursday. But really, she keeps saying she is looking forward to it and for years she has always “done” Thanksgiving. Starting in ‘03 when we were stationed elsewhere and on thru this year she has always had at least a few guests and done the whole works. She really does get some kind of thrill out of it which I guess is good. For the most part, we are unconventional in that we hate to cook so we all 3 have different foods at our meals. We do eat together when we can, but we eat different things. The Boy usually like to eat his stuff in addition to sampling ours. We think he actually has a pretty good, varied diet. he loves yogurt so we give him that a lot. And he liked applesauce and he loves fruit. He’ll eat Bananas, Apples cut into pieces with the skin off, prunes, strawberries, peaches and pears. We try to give him sugar free stuff as much as possible, not really because of diet concerns, but just because sugar isn’t good for you. But the bad part is, all that sugar-free stuff has either Splenda or Aspartame in it. So I try and watch that, too. I really think overall it’s not that bad for you, but they just don’t know FOR SURE. It’s one thing to drink diet soda yourself and make that decision but when you are entrusted to monitor the safety and food of your baby, you wonder about feeding them too much sugar, too much fat or too many artificial sweetners.

 But yeah he also loves broccoli and carrots. I swear, it’s so funny to ask a two year old if he wants broccoli and he loves it. I’ve taken him to restaurants before and he’ll leave the chicken, mashed potatoes and whatever while chowing down on steamed broccoli. I hope he stays that way in the long term. And we’ve never had to put cheese on it or anything. He just eats steamed or microwaved soft broccoli.

 But you know, I think it’s about what we eat. It’s not like we eat perfectly. I have my stupid binges and my wife likes a cheeseburger now and again but mostly we do eat a good diet and he sees that and wants to copy us. He also sees we are the type of family who likes to be fit and stay active ( Well… at least Mommy is active these days) and he imitates that. Remember before I’ve often blogged about when I could work out he would copy me, doing push-ups and leg lifts and lifting his little 3 pound weights which I thought was adorable at the time and which now I think it is hilarious that my two year old lifts the same amount that I can comfortably.

sigh.

Okay well, TV-wise I got to see LAST ONE STANDING, which you know is my favorite TV show right now. And they had to wrestle in Senegal. This is like the 3rd wrestling challenge they’ve had. And I really sympathized with Ryko, Raiko, or however you spell it… he got injured and could not compete. Now I’ve never been a top level athelete, but I loved to work out and I cherished my high activity level. So it is very very very hard for me not to be depressed about how extremely immobile I have become these days.

I dream so much about working out, lifting weights, running and doing new DVDs, kickboxing, dancing, etc…. I mean not daydreaming, but like when I am asleep I will dream about this stuff and then wake up and my body will be aching and it is very hard not to feel depressed about it all.

I watch these shows on TV about renovating your house or starting a garden and I just marvel at how physical these activities are and how much I took it for granted before.

I guess my consolation is that… hopefully… hopefully… this is a condition I can come back from. I am working on getting the Cushing’s Syndrome treated and also healing my back and my ribs which are the side effect of Cushing’s. We think.  I hope.

I can’t even imagine having my physicality and mobility taken away from me permanently. It has made me ponder a lot. What if I were to become a parapalegic? A quadrapeligic? What if all of a sudden I could never do anything physical again? I’d have to completely redefine who I was. My wife would have to do everything for the family FOREVER. Not just for a few months! How would I deal with that guilt? That I had suddenly become this burden on us? Would I be able to find a way to provide for my family? Would I be able to keep my spirits high and be pleasant to be around?

The Mommy and Her Mommy (my wonderful mother in law) have taken the Boy to the PARK and then grocery shopping and of course I could not go. On days when I feel even slightly up to it, I force myself out and about. Am I in extreme pain? yes but I go anyway, convinced I will not let this prevent me from having a good time with my family.

But today I just cannot. So oh well. I will try to enjoy myself around here, read some Blogs and at 11:30am Animal House is coming on. So I’ll watch that and have some lunch. My wife is also going grocery shopping today and I think later they are going to our friend’s house. I don’t think I will go. I just dread the thought of me sitting there in pain but pretending I’m not and to make it worse they’ll notice anyway and ask me about it and then we’ll have to have a 20 minute conversation about how much pain I’m in but pretending not to be and Gee what a Great Guy I must be to have all this pain but here I am out with my family and friends anyway.

Hahaha okay that’s kind of bitter and sarcastic there.

But it’s okay. I will just sit on the couch and enjoy some TV this evening and by Thursday I’ll feel great and I will enjoy having friends and family over and maybe I will even do a short dance just for them.

Oh yeah as far as weight loss and diet I’m kind of in this weird phase. I keep trying to get back on the “diet”… I am trying to eat between 1200-1500 calories a day which I figure is a good level for trying to lose a few pounds while being virtually sedentary, but I still get up and have these minor binges which has lead me to a plateu of 150 pounds.

I blogged earlier about how I’m not too beaten up about it, I have other things to worry about. Still, it would be nice to get the last ten vanity pounds off finally before the end of the year. And if I did it while sitting on the couch most of the time that would be hilarious. 150 isn’t the end of the world, but more…

really it’s more about when I wake up at 10pm or midnight or 2am… and you know you have that slight hunger pangs… because your body is dipping into fat stores and it doesn’t want to!! Your body is programmed to keep you at a certain weight. So at midnight my body goes “Wait a minute, we LIKE being at 150 with a little belly here! Don’t burn the fat cells, Matt! Get up and eat some cereal, eat some pizza, eat a cookie!” And if I just had the will-power to say, “No, no… let’s have some water and a diet coke and see what’s on TV or on BuddySlim” then I’d be okay.

But so far this week… the only thing that has saved me from GAINING weight it the fact that I resume my diet IMMEDIETLY the next day and I don’t tell myself “Oh I blew it for the day, week, et cet….” and eat crap all day.

So yeah today I’m trying again for 1200 calories, give or take and hopefully tonight I can finally get back in that groove. Once I get going, it gets easier and easier. I had that one 11-day streak. That got me down to 143, remember? Mmmm so close, and yet…

Sorry I don’t have a good joke for today. Maybe tomorrow.

—Matt

Well, I feel pretty good mentally. Physically, I am very sore and stiff this AM.

My day yesterday went pretty well over-all. The Boy and I watched a lot of TV, but we also played a lot with toys. He even took a nap right on the sofa while VH1’s “I Love The 90s : Part Deux” was on.

I was on my feet quite a bit yesterday so I think I’m feeling it today.

But there are downs to yesterday. One, at about 6:30pm he got it in his head to be extremely hyper and mischevious and no matter how many times I told him “No” and not to touch something and settle down he just would not listen. I think I probably gave him about ten chances to stop all that, like jumping on the couch, pulling on the curtains, climbing on the table, on and on until I finally told him I would put him to bed “You are going Nite Nite in your crib if you don’t stop!” which he fully understands but he did not stop so I ended up putting him in his crib, which of course hurt my lower back a little bit so now it hurts and he screamed and cried for a solid hour and I felt bad both physically and mentally…

I had so wanted the evening to be pleasant and nice and he could have stayed up as late as he wanted until he fell asleep as long as he was good. Anyway, I guess I just felt so crappy I gave in and had a minor binge. A lean pocket, some cookies, and a gigantic bowl of cereal. I knew the whole time I was doing it purely to make myself feel better, and afterwards of course I felt even worse because now on top of the kid thing and the back thing now I had the stupid eating at night thing.

oh well. one day I will learn. perhaps today.

he did wake up at 11pm or so crying a little so of course I went in there and it took everything I had physically but I carried my little boy back into the living room with me and laid him on the couch and he slept on one sofa and I slept on the other one all night. I had to turn off the TV to get him to fall asleep, though.

Oh I love him so much why can’t he just mind me when I tell him stuff? darn it.

Okay well the scale is holding steady at 150 so I guess until I stop binge-ing and snacking at night I’m not going to lose the last ten pounds.

I’m excited about Thanksgiving, www.hungrygirl.com has a great recipe for pumpkin pie that is only 135 calories per slice and I either want my wife to make it or I want to make it and see what it tastes like.

Nothing that spectacular to report on the TV front… here is your joke for the day:

*A little boy and his father were walking and they happened to see two dogs humping, and the little boy says “What are they doing Daddy?”

“Well son, they are making a puppy.”

So a few nights later the son accidentally walks in on his parents making love. and he says “Daddy what are you doing to Mommy?”

“well son, we are making a baby.”

“Well flip her over I’d rather have a puppy!”

oh my.

—Matt

Good morning, BSers and Welcome to The Couch Potato Diaries, Day Numero Uno.

These next 35 days, — that’s five weeks — will be dedicated to me healing as much as possible from the recent injuries I have suffered. That is to say, seven— count ‘em, SEVEN— fractured ribs. That’s one up front and six in the back. And by the way, why do people keep asking me if they are “broken… or fractured…?” because from everything I can tell on the Internet, it means the same thing. A fracture is a break. I learned that in Boy Scouts.

So this Blog is where I will bring to you all my random thoughtedness from my couch and from the world of Cable Television, mindless vapid hole that it is, but which I am addicted to.

At the same time, here is my struggle to keep on losing weight. Even though my activity level will have to be low-low-low, as far as I can tell, keeping my calories between 1200-1500 per day should still result in weight loss.

I have binged for 3 nights straight, let;s get that confession right out of the way right now. You’d think I’d be all like “Damn… I was so close to 140 and now here I am back up near 150… 149.5 to be exact…” but I’m not at all.

I’m very positive and motivated that I can still lose about 2 pounds per week and by the time 5 weeks have passed I betcha I am at my goal weight of 140. I’m just gonna keep on doing my three-hour meal and snack timing, lean proteins, good carbs, fruits veggies et cetera,… you guys know the drill.

My little goal this week will be to clock in at 148 by Sunday. Easy!

I am in a little bit of back and leg pain this morning but I decided to get on up and take a shower and shave my grizzly-adams looking face and put on a little bit of old spice. If I’m going to lay around all day in pain I can at least make an effort to look and smell decent, right?

Hey I’m so excited my wife has decided she wants to be a Nurse! She is so motivated. My wife is way way way smarter than me and she likes school more than I do. It’s not like she LOOOOOVES it, ya know, but she does it anyway. Right now she is in a few classes just to get her… regular degree? But starting in January she is going to go full time in classes that go towards nursing. I think she would be a fantastic nurse and the rate at which I am going God knows I’m going to need a great nurse around.

Okay well now I have made a vow to myself to visit AT LEAST ten other BS blogs a day, if not more and leave motivational comments if I can think of some good ones. You all have been so good to me, I need to return the favor.

I’ll probably be back later but who knows WHAT the day will bring? It’s early yet.

—Matt

Thanks to all the BSers who left me such supportive comments on my last post. You have no idea what it means to have this community to reach out to and have you leave comments like that.

On one hand, I really feel weird logging on and pouring out all these negative, depressing emotions regarding my current situation. It’s not the kind of man I want to be. But on the other, it does feel nice to have a safe and secure place where I can write about how much pain I am in and the emotions I am having that go along with it.

Saturday and Sunday all I have done is lie on the couch. My wife has done everything around the house and with my son. I admit that sometimes it is pretty nice to lie there and watch stupid TV. because ya’ll know I like TV. But give me a break, 12-16 hours a day of cable TV? Yikes!

So I try to get up about every hour or so and do something, like Blog… or do a few dishes. Or put away a few clothes.

But the pain has gotten so bad that even that just wipes me out. Just 10 little minutes of moving around and my whole body is just lit up with sparkly white pain and I have GOT to lay down again.

I hate asking my wife to do anything for me, even though she is the most patient and kind-hearted person. I know she would do anything for me, but it seems so unfair that I just lay on the couch while she takes care of The Boy and all the household stuff too.

I really feel badly about it.

Then there is the fact that laying on the couch with little to do doesn’t put me in the best mood. It makes me sad and depressed. So here I am, this sad depressed lump in pain on the damn couch.

My boss did me a huge favor and said I could take tomorrow off, since the damn doctors didn’t even offer that to me. Uhm, yeah… in the military getting time off is like pulling teeth sometimes. I can’t believe they didn’t even offer to let me stay home. But like I said, my boss gave me the day off tomorrow… and on Tuesday I will take leave. I think I have more than a month saved up on vacation days. So I’m going to take as many weeks as I can. I’m going to sit on my couch and heal.

And who knows? If I can stick to a good diet I could probably even lose a little more weight! Even with no activity. Maybe about 1400 calories per day?

The hard part is you eat out of BOREDOM, not hunger.

I’ll have to watch that.

Once again, thanks for all your support BSers. If you ever think you can’t make a difference with some stupid internet comments, you are wrong. Your comments make me think it is possible for me to resist the junk food, possible to heal, and return better than ever in the coming months!!

—Matt

Well, BSers… the scale showed a gain of two pounds this week. I’m not surprised. All I’ve done is sit around and eat junk food all weekend.

I think it’s a stupid cycle. I am in so much pain lately. My whole body just radiates pain. And I guess one way that I “self-medicate” is with junk food. But in the end , it’s not going to make me feel better. It’ll just make me feel worse as I gain weight.

So I’m going to try and stay positive… I’ll take it easy today and I’ll try to eat about 1000 calories of good food spaced evenely throughout the day. I’ll try to ride my little easy pedal thing for an hour this morning but I’m not sure that I can. Like I said, my entire body, from my feet to my neck is just in so much pain unless I am lying on the couch motionless. I think that my tendency to laugh and joke and be a “good guy” has decieved people… they don’t realize how much it hurts to have these cracked ribs. But I have got to just lie around and watch TV today. Period.

Tomorrow I’ll bump back up to about 1500 calories per day and hopefully by the end of this week I’ll be back around 145 or so.

I hope I’m not bedridden all week.

This sucks.

—Matt

Yes indeed, things are going relatively well. At the end of my shift last night I could barely move.

Sometimes it is very hard to explain to people exactly what this feels like. Imagine somebody had thrust steel rods into your back and into your right leg. All the way up thru your shoulders and neck. Now, near the middle of your back, they have attached a cable and they are tugging away at it. That is what it feels like. On “good days” it just feels VERY uncomfortable.

On “bad days” it is like sharp, white pain to even move a bit. Add to that when my knees have a dull ache and my left foot sometimes does the same thing. Taking Celebrex and the other mild muscle relaxer, the Flexeril… helps a litle. But I’m not on anything major.

I am currently undergoing tests to find out if there is something underlying like Osteoporosis, Osteoarthritis, or something in the Rheumatoid family that is causing me to break overall.

MarathonGirl asked how did I break 7 ribs.

Answer: About 4 weeks ago, I was using my chest to push on a piece of AGE which is basically anything we need to hook up to the jet to do our work. AGE stands for “Aerospace Ground Equipment”. Well, my chest sort of “popped” in. It is only painful for a moment, and I am used to it, honestly. But I still had pains that night everytime I would need to support my body in any sort of push-up style position…(to do my job I have to lean into the cockpit of a jet fighter frequently…) so I went to Medical in the AM to make sure I was “okay”.

Well…. initially they just took some X-rays, put me on “light duty” and sent me packing with some mild muscle relaxers. Nothing major. Maybe it was even Ibuprofin. But then a week later or so the Radiologist called and said he wanted to do a CT Scan for things he “noticed”.

Well… After the scan they called me and said I needed to come in ASAP!

Turns out that night I HAD fractured a rib in my upper left side, AND I had been living with SIX FRACTURED ribs in my back for AT LEAST two months. I do not know how I did it, only that I have been having more and more pain the past few months and they were very dismissive of me everytime I went over there.

So now I am on a waiver that says I can basically do nothing until I heal.

On some days now just getting up from the couch and to the kitchen is a major ordeal.

But I am determined that I will heal up by the end of this year and be good as new.

——

Sorry for the long post, BSers, but I also have some other things to write about besides my ribs and all that jazz.

I ordered a little mini-pedal bike thingie from Amazon.com and it arrived last night. I’m so happy because it means that I can get in some sort of activity while I sit on the couch and watch TV. I will let you know what I think and which model it is in case you have similar issues to mine and can barely do anything for exercise.

The great news is, even without strenuous exercise, I have been faithfully adhereing to my diet of about 1500 cal per day of good food and I am dropping weight. The scale hovers right around “143″ which is my goal for this week by Sunday.

No binges though I will tell you what I have done is tell myself I can have unlimited water, diet soda, celery, gum, pickles and sugar free gelatin with FF whipped topping. So sometimes I do have a baby pickle, a diet soda and some jell-O and even if I sit there and “pig out” on this stuff it doesn’t add up to nearly the calories I used to set myself back on a binge.

So I think changing my mentality from “can’t snack at all” to certain foods that I can eat as much as I want has really helped. I usually get satisfied with a few pickles and maybe one or two Gelatins, sometimes all it takes it water and diet soda. Anyway, it has helped a lot.

Just a thought.

Tonite is my Favorite Show: Last One Standing.

—Matt

Just some random thoughts for this Wednesday night:

*I’m loving the new Britney album. It’s almost too catchy for it’s own damn good. I love a great pop album and this certainly is it. There are at least ten radio-ready hits on it if not more.

*My son was in a terribly bratty mood today. We all went out to Po Folks for dinner. I’m not crazy about Po Folks and to tell you the truth, I really wanted my oatmeal for… well… it’s my breakfast but everyone else’s dinner… because it was about 6pm. But I went because being with my family is more important that my stupid oatmeal. But my son (who is almost two) was being so moody and whiny today. The final straw was at 8pm tonight I was willing to share my Vitalicious brownie with him. I had my brownie and some no-sugar added choc ice cream as my “snack” and he wanted to hold the spoon but I would not let him so he pitched a fit. His mother and I had had enough so he went to bed a half hour early. We were suprised he conked right out after we left the room. Guess the poor guy was just too tired today. But I am not going to be terrorized by a two year old, no matter how much I love the little dude.

*My work has been so supportive of me healing from this rib injury. They harrass me in fun about being “crippled” but they know I must be in a lot of pain with seven broken ribs. Their favorite joke is about my wife beating me. But my wife reports that if she had hit me with a bat, she would have made damn sure it was 9 ribs broken instead of just 7. Hahahaha. What a funny gal.

*I do have Squadron PC tonight, but all I do is ride the recumbent bike. To tell you the truth, the rib thing IS painful, especially the longer I am awake and moving around, but the lower back issues are what is really getting to me. It is a bitch to reach down for something or lift something as simple as a gallon of freaking milk and have your lower back painfully spasm. I really hate this. I feel like an invalid.

*I am sort of digging the new NBC show, Phenomenon. The one where spoon-bending sensation Uri Gellar and Mind Freek Cris Angel look for our next great magician slash illusionist.

*The Biggest Loser was rather uneventful this week. The product placement was decent, Jenn-O turkey. Never had it but it looks okay. The going green idea was kind of neat.

*I love having my Sister in Law here. The Boy adores her. It’s really weird that her husband has gone to stay on the other side of Florida because he wants to play golf with their Dad. He actually told my SiL that our home is “trashy”. I can’t believe that. Our home is very clean and it looks great! But I think it’s because we live in a “manufactured” home. He thinks it is beneath him to stay here. I am really stunned because I don’t run into many people with his mentality. I am always thinking about impoverished kids in Darfur or whatever, and most Americans I know have the same mindset… very charitable and non-judgemental. But this guy is way up into things like rims on cars and video games and all that. The more bling the better.

And what really pisses me off is the way he treats my SiL. My SiL and my wife are twins. And they are different personality-wise, but I love them both so much. And I think my SiL deserves to have someone who will adore her and take care of her and make her feel special the way I try to do with my wife. But he doesn’t. She completely dotes on him and he acts like he could not give two farts about anything she wants and it really makes me sad.

Oh well. Some women just put up with too much from assholes because they don’t think they deserve better. But they do.

We all do.

—Matt

P.S. In weight-related news, still no binges and the scale said “142″ today when I first got up at 3pm. I’m elated to be so damn close but on the other I think I’m probably dropping weight too fast. Maybe 1500 calories is a little too low. But then again, I’m so close I can start playing with “maintenance calories” soon enough…

I thought maybe I would take a moment to explain why there are always junk type stuff stuff in the house. Yes, it is true that my wife tries to eat healthy. But at the same time, she loves to bake and make sweets. She also buys more junk food than I do. I would never buy bags of chips and Doritos and stuff but she does.

Believe me, we’ve been down this road and discussed the whole thing and basically it came down to “I am a grown man and I have to control what I eat, regardless of what is in the house.”

It is frustrating, I won’t lie. I feel like if I was an alchoholic or a smoker my wife would take it seriously and not have booze and cigs lying around, but with food people think it’s different. My wife is the type of person who can buy a whole box of OREOs and literally eat one or two. And then  the whole thing just sits there for a week, taunting me…

So anyway, yes… we’ve had our issues and she knows it is hard for me but I think she underestimates how hard it is. But usually when we bake stuff like brownies and cakes she lets me take them all to work.

My wife has a lot of self-esteem and guilt issues and I love her so so so much I’d rather not have her think that she contributes to my weight struggle in any way. So that’s pretty much THAT whole situation.

She will not support me in losing weight and I do not ask her to anymore because she gets very upset at even the notion that she could be contributing…

In brighter news, I ordered one of those little “Mini-Pedal” bike things from Amazon.com. You know, the type that you can put anywhere and just peddle away the calories with your feet or arms. I got the one with the highest user rating versus price, it was about 35 bucks. Because…

Okay like today my back is killing me, there is NO WAY I am going to Gazelle or walk. But if I had that I could at least pedal and stay active while watching TV (or Blogging!).

I have some Vitalicious Chocolate Muffins in the oven. If you don’t know about Vitalicious, you have GOT to try them. Basically they are “healthy” brownies. In so many flavors, you can buy them pre=packaged or in the mix and bake them up yourself. Take my word for it, they are delicious and they come packed with protein and fiber and only 100 calories per muffin. I like mine with a squirt of fat free Reddi Whip or some Fat Free Cool Whip frozen, I swear it’s like you are eating ice cream and cake but you’re only eating like 140 calories, plus all that protein and fiber. It is one “cheat” that’s not cheating at all but you will feel like it is.

Their website is www.vitalicious.com

I swear, one Chocolate VitaMuffin + Scoop of frozen fat free cool whip + some fat free reddi whip on top = no guilt cake and ice cream.

—Matt

P.S. stepped on the scale today and it said “143.5″. Oh Mr. Scale you are too kind, my friend.

It has been really really hard around here to resist all this stuff. Currently there is a pizza in my house, some donuts, a huge slab of apple pie, some cookies, ice cream, crackers, potato chips and dip, candy, pumpkin pie…

 That’s not to mention all the regular food. And yet I have valiantly resisted. The hardest part is always when I’m supposed to be asleep. I’ll wake up at noon or 1pm and if nobody’s around, I just go to town.

But the scale is holding steady at 145 pounds, and this is at the “end of the day” when I’m fully hydrated and filled up on food. I tell myself I have come to far to slip up now. And these days, exercise is not a given. I have a lot of other obligations so not only is it hard to fit in, but I cannot exercise with the intensity or duration I once could. Sometimes just a half hour of Gazelle-ing (about two miles) is all I can manage.

Still, I am sticking to my 1500 calories a day, more or less and I think I’m on the right track.

Now to get some shut-eye.

—Matt