Slimdude

Just some random thoughts for this Wednesday night:

*I’m loving the new Britney album. It’s almost too catchy for it’s own damn good. I love a great pop album and this certainly is it. There are at least ten radio-ready hits on it if not more.

*My son was in a terribly bratty mood today. We all went out to Po Folks for dinner. I’m not crazy about Po Folks and to tell you the truth, I really wanted my oatmeal for… well… it’s my breakfast but everyone else’s dinner… because it was about 6pm. But I went because being with my family is more important that my stupid oatmeal. But my son (who is almost two) was being so moody and whiny today. The final straw was at 8pm tonight I was willing to share my Vitalicious brownie with him. I had my brownie and some no-sugar added choc ice cream as my “snack” and he wanted to hold the spoon but I would not let him so he pitched a fit. His mother and I had had enough so he went to bed a half hour early. We were suprised he conked right out after we left the room. Guess the poor guy was just too tired today. But I am not going to be terrorized by a two year old, no matter how much I love the little dude.

*My work has been so supportive of me healing from this rib injury. They harrass me in fun about being “crippled” but they know I must be in a lot of pain with seven broken ribs. Their favorite joke is about my wife beating me. But my wife reports that if she had hit me with a bat, she would have made damn sure it was 9 ribs broken instead of just 7. Hahahaha. What a funny gal.

*I do have Squadron PC tonight, but all I do is ride the recumbent bike. To tell you the truth, the rib thing IS painful, especially the longer I am awake and moving around, but the lower back issues are what is really getting to me. It is a bitch to reach down for something or lift something as simple as a gallon of freaking milk and have your lower back painfully spasm. I really hate this. I feel like an invalid.

*I am sort of digging the new NBC show, Phenomenon. The one where spoon-bending sensation Uri Gellar and Mind Freek Cris Angel look for our next great magician slash illusionist.

*The Biggest Loser was rather uneventful this week. The product placement was decent, Jenn-O turkey. Never had it but it looks okay. The going green idea was kind of neat.

*I love having my Sister in Law here. The Boy adores her. It’s really weird that her husband has gone to stay on the other side of Florida because he wants to play golf with their Dad. He actually told my SiL that our home is “trashy”. I can’t believe that. Our home is very clean and it looks great! But I think it’s because we live in a “manufactured” home. He thinks it is beneath him to stay here. I am really stunned because I don’t run into many people with his mentality. I am always thinking about impoverished kids in Darfur or whatever, and most Americans I know have the same mindset… very charitable and non-judgemental. But this guy is way up into things like rims on cars and video games and all that. The more bling the better.

And what really pisses me off is the way he treats my SiL. My SiL and my wife are twins. And they are different personality-wise, but I love them both so much. And I think my SiL deserves to have someone who will adore her and take care of her and make her feel special the way I try to do with my wife. But he doesn’t. She completely dotes on him and he acts like he could not give two farts about anything she wants and it really makes me sad.

Oh well. Some women just put up with too much from assholes because they don’t think they deserve better. But they do.

We all do.

—Matt

P.S. In weight-related news, still no binges and the scale said “142″ today when I first got up at 3pm. I’m elated to be so damn close but on the other I think I’m probably dropping weight too fast. Maybe 1500 calories is a little too low. But then again, I’m so close I can start playing with “maintenance calories” soon enough…

I thought maybe I would take a moment to explain why there are always junk type stuff stuff in the house. Yes, it is true that my wife tries to eat healthy. But at the same time, she loves to bake and make sweets. She also buys more junk food than I do. I would never buy bags of chips and Doritos and stuff but she does.

Believe me, we’ve been down this road and discussed the whole thing and basically it came down to “I am a grown man and I have to control what I eat, regardless of what is in the house.”

It is frustrating, I won’t lie. I feel like if I was an alchoholic or a smoker my wife would take it seriously and not have booze and cigs lying around, but with food people think it’s different. My wife is the type of person who can buy a whole box of OREOs and literally eat one or two. And then  the whole thing just sits there for a week, taunting me…

So anyway, yes… we’ve had our issues and she knows it is hard for me but I think she underestimates how hard it is. But usually when we bake stuff like brownies and cakes she lets me take them all to work.

My wife has a lot of self-esteem and guilt issues and I love her so so so much I’d rather not have her think that she contributes to my weight struggle in any way. So that’s pretty much THAT whole situation.

She will not support me in losing weight and I do not ask her to anymore because she gets very upset at even the notion that she could be contributing…

In brighter news, I ordered one of those little “Mini-Pedal” bike things from Amazon.com. You know, the type that you can put anywhere and just peddle away the calories with your feet or arms. I got the one with the highest user rating versus price, it was about 35 bucks. Because…

Okay like today my back is killing me, there is NO WAY I am going to Gazelle or walk. But if I had that I could at least pedal and stay active while watching TV (or Blogging!).

I have some Vitalicious Chocolate Muffins in the oven. If you don’t know about Vitalicious, you have GOT to try them. Basically they are “healthy” brownies. In so many flavors, you can buy them pre=packaged or in the mix and bake them up yourself. Take my word for it, they are delicious and they come packed with protein and fiber and only 100 calories per muffin. I like mine with a squirt of fat free Reddi Whip or some Fat Free Cool Whip frozen, I swear it’s like you are eating ice cream and cake but you’re only eating like 140 calories, plus all that protein and fiber. It is one “cheat” that’s not cheating at all but you will feel like it is.

Their website is www.vitalicious.com

I swear, one Chocolate VitaMuffin + Scoop of frozen fat free cool whip + some fat free reddi whip on top = no guilt cake and ice cream.

—Matt

P.S. stepped on the scale today and it said “143.5″. Oh Mr. Scale you are too kind, my friend.

It has been really really hard around here to resist all this stuff. Currently there is a pizza in my house, some donuts, a huge slab of apple pie, some cookies, ice cream, crackers, potato chips and dip, candy, pumpkin pie…

 That’s not to mention all the regular food. And yet I have valiantly resisted. The hardest part is always when I’m supposed to be asleep. I’ll wake up at noon or 1pm and if nobody’s around, I just go to town.

But the scale is holding steady at 145 pounds, and this is at the “end of the day” when I’m fully hydrated and filled up on food. I tell myself I have come to far to slip up now. And these days, exercise is not a given. I have a lot of other obligations so not only is it hard to fit in, but I cannot exercise with the intensity or duration I once could. Sometimes just a half hour of Gazelle-ing (about two miles) is all I can manage.

Still, I am sticking to my 1500 calories a day, more or less and I think I’m on the right track.

Now to get some shut-eye.

—Matt

Yeah I changed my avatar again… it’s still David Beckham, but isn’t it cool? He’s all smiley faced, just like me. Last night I went back to bed after writing the below post and I did not binge or snack or anything. Just some water and that Coke Zero.

 So this morning I was in a good mood and woke up a little early and the scale says I am now “145″ pounds. That is only 5 pounds away from my goal. I do not expect to have an 8 pound loss this week. So I am setting a modest goal of 2 more pounds… by next Sunday I will be 143 pounds. And my reward for losing two pounds and CONTINUING my “no-binge / no nite snacking” streak (which is now officially on DAY SEVEN, HURRAY!) will be a dual magazine subscription to DETAILS and GQ. On one hand, I enjoy these two mags a lot. On the other, they do the same thing to my psyche that I’m sure women’s magazines do to women.

 I see the ultra-thin dudes in there and I’m convinced that’s what I have to look like. I know a lot of women have the same issues. The good thing is, with me… if I diet and exercise I can come pretty close. I can’t get all big and huge like Arnold or Sly Stallone but I do a good job of being lean and having abs and everything.

But it has certainly taken work. I’m never gonna sit here and say “Oh I don’t diet. I don’t workout.”

What bullcrap. I hate it when celebrities say that. They are lying their ass off. They do “diet”. Just see Dr. Marc’s current Blog post about Mel B. “Scary Spice”. The stars eat right and they exercise. And what that can’t accomplish they make up for with makeup and hair teams and then airbrushing.

Nobody’s perfect. That’s why it helps to have other areas of focus.  Yes, it is nice when I have abs and a tan and I can fit into size 30 jeans… but I also have planes to fix and a family to take care of.

I did reward myself with the new Britney album. I’m very into dance music. Believe me, I take a lot of flak for it but I’m unapologetic about it. I love Rihanna and Ciara and Madonna and all that uber-flaming “gay” dance music.

So far I’m on the 4th or 5th song and it is really really good. I downloaded it from iTunes, which has the most complicated user interface, I swear. That’s why I’ll never switch to Apple from Microsoft. I can fix computer systems on multi-million dollar warplanes but I can’t master iTunes.

Go figure.

Time for some BlogSurfing.

—Matt

My third entry for Saturday. It’s about 11pm and yes, I did wake up and the thought occured to me to get in that kitchen and find some leftovers. Oh, how easy it would be to grab a whole sleeve of crackers and dip them all in that yummy yummy French Onion dip. Or have a big slice of pumpkin pie, topped with ice cream and whipped topping. Oh and that would be so good why not follow it up with Apple Pie! More ice cream and more whipped topping! Oh wait here is some mashed potatoes and mac and cheese Why Not I’ve Already Blown It, Right?

Aha! So here is where those rolls went, hmmm… oh here’s some cheese to put on those, oh there are cookies in here, too? Mmmm let’s see about ten cookies with some milk.

See where I am going with this?

But instead… a Vanilla Coke Zero… some BlogSurfing… and back to bed…

Tomorrow morning should be a great weigh-in. I did very good this week, despite being told I have seven fractured ribs, my exercise went way down… but I did eat right and NO BINGES. Tomorrow morning will make one full week.

Sorry, oh delicious high carb Halloween Candy, but somebody else will have to enjoy your sinful sweetness on another day.

—Matt

Well, I do not know how much I will be able to Blog and Blog-Surf because it is already 6:15am and my son will probably wake up soon.

I went for a mild walk this morning… I think I covered three miles, which means I officially completed The Thanksgiving Walking Challenge. But I’ll still keep track of how many more miles I can get before then.

I am in kind-of a lot of pain this morning. Stiffness in the knees and left foot. Lower back is mildly sore and of course the rest of the crap-ola from my ribs. But at least now I know. Even as I was walking this morning I found myself wondering if perhaps I couldn’t at least do some biceps curls or something like that… it is going to be really hard for me to just “take it easy” these next few months.

The great news is, almost a week has passed since my last binge and my eating has been right on-point. This morning the scale says “144″. I wonder if that is a fluke? Tomorrow is my “official” weigh-in day, so I’ll update my ticker tomorrow.

Now I am going to try and see how many Blogs I can visit before my son gets up. My S-I-L is here staying with us. The rest of my In-Laws are at a campground about 30 minutes away. We are all supposed to spend the day together and I am looking forward to that.

Have a Great Weekend, BSers.

—Matt

Hey did that title get anyone’s attention? I like some ribs… once in a while…

Well guess what, I had forgotten my cell phone at work and when I got in there were multiple messages for me to call the hospital to discuss my CT Scan results. The messages sounded urgent and dire. So that was kind of distracting all night…

Then as soon as I got home at 7:30am work called and said the hospital called them and told them I had to come in ASAP. So my wife and I went and dropped off our son and then went to the hospital.

So are you ready for this, BSers?

I have SEVEN broken ribs! Four places in the back on my right, two on the left and one up top in the front. I have had them for at least 2 months, according to the radiologist.

They wanted to know how in the WORLD did I break seven ribs, and I have no idea. But this explains so much. When they first said that, I was thinking “I don’t have any chest pains…” but these breaks are all in the BACK of my ribcage. Except for that one.

So on one hand this is good news. I am not crazy. I have been working out and doing my job with SEVEN broken ribs! Last night on “Last One Standing” that Raiko guy had a broken rib and he was in so much pain he could not continue wrestling. He did not know it was a broken rib at the time… just like I had no idea.

So gentle walking is now the ONLY form of exercise I will engage in. No more throwing myself around with Leslie and no more Power 90 or weights or anything. Until I heal. I probably would have healed already except for all my doctors kept MISSING this until the radiologist caught it on my last X-ray and ordered the CT scan.

They also X-rayed my lower back this morning to make sure I have just pulled a muscle and I didn’t have any disc problems there.

Okay, so this is a good thing. Now we know. Matt is not insane. Matt is in pain because he has seven broken ribs. He can heal and then maybe by January ‘08 I can start working on running and lifting and all that again. This is great.

Except for one small thing : WHAT is causing my bones and joints to do this? Remember I already had “mild degeneration” in my discs in my neck. BUT perhaps those are not causing ANY of my back pain. Then my left foot hurts sometimes and my knees ache.

So we need to figure out if there is something there causing me to break bones and my joints to have issues.

So more blood tests were done and I now have a referral to get a complete bone scan done. I should be able to do that before the year is out.

It is so nice to finally have some answers. I can go in and be like “Look, I’m not a pansy! I’ve had seven broken ribs FOR MONTHS now and I’ve still been working hard!”

Now to figure out HOW and WHY.

—Matt

 P.S. A bonus joke : God was looking down on Adam, all alone in the Garden of Eden and He said “Adam, you look so sad. What’s the matter?”

Adam said ” Well God, I’m lonely.”

And God said ” Well Adam, I can make you a mate. Someone beautiful and intelligent. Someone who will kindly take care of you and cater to all your needs. All it will cost you is you whole arm and a few toes…”

And Adam said “Gee God, that’s a lot…. what can I get for just a rib?”

Ba-dum-ching!

So last nite not one kid came to our door Trick-or-Treating. So now I have bowls of candy just sitting around my house. Fortunately, I don’t even like most of it. One weird candy we have is these little gummy fruit snacks. And two people have said “Oh well instead of candy that’s good…” and I am looking at them like “are you serious?”

So people REALLY think stuff like Gummy Fruit Snacks and Fruit Roll-Ups are fruit and not candy? That is so bizarre to me.

I did my CT scan this morning and when I layed down on that thing the lady had me shift my body downward towards the end of the table thingie and when I did my back spasmed like never before. I was in so much pain I thought I was going to cry.

It took me forever to get up after the scan and I kept apologizing to the lady , I was very embarrassed and in so much pain but I just could not get up. Finally, I managed to shift my body weight and turn sideways and push myself up.

Got home and took a Flexeril and Unisom and conked out until about 3:30pm and I actually felt so much better that I Gazelled one mile and did the Two Mile DVD walk.

As far as diet goes, I have not gotten up and eaten and I have not binged.

Thanks for everyone stopping by and offering supportive comments.

I’m thinking of re-training into a new job field because fixin’ planes is just too physically difficult.

Keep on movin and groovin, BSers.

—Matt

That’s what I’m drinking right now as I Blog, and it is my current favorite diet soda. I know not everyone is a fan of diet soda, but I am. I drank diet soda the first two times I lost weight and I have had it consistently as I lose weight this time.

I know that I said I would stay off the scale until Sunday but I have to reveal that I’ve been peeking… the highest weight was “150″ and the lowest was “147″ so far this week. So even with no exercise, my diet has been good enough to where I have met that little goal of three pounds this week.

In a way, I knew I would because my weight is really around “150″ and it was just high on Sunday morning because I binged so badly Saturday night.

But it’s already Wednesday and I have not binged or cheated on my diet, even though it’s very hard right now because our house is full of brownies and candies.

My lower back is still kind of sore. But now more in a way after you get in a good workout. Like a constant ache rather than spasms. I worked last night and I didn’t carry anything heavier than our lap-tops. But these are like industrial weight military lap-tops. I also had to climb in and out of the cockpit to do avionics checks and that was relatively hard also.

Also my shoulders and neck have been really bad … a lot of pins and needles and sparking action… not sure if it’s related to the back thing or not. But when I looked it up online there are so many types of arthritis and so many drugs they can try and use.  I am going to seek out a chiropractor also… I don’t want this thing to get worse but I think a Chiro might be able to help.

In addition, Med called and said they want to do a CT scan after “re-evaluating” my last X-ray. I took that X-Ray a week ago at least. It kind of scares me they want to “re-evaluate” ??? Something about “abnormal cartilege.”

I am also supposed to see a Rheumatologist before the end of the year.

I would like to find out what is the cause of all this. All these aches and pains. And have it be NON-fatal and TREATABLE.

Nevertheless, I managed to fix both planes I was on last night and when I woke up today at 3:30pm I Gazelled 4 miles. My back didn’t spasm so I was okay.

Tonight I am supposed to go to the gym and I think I will try the elliptical first and if that is too harsh I will try the recumbent bike.

Oh and should I recap The Biggest Loser? I guess I will keep watching it after all. I can’t believe they kept Neil AND let him use that weight-loss.

Oh well.

—Matt

Well, I wrote this really long post earlier but now it’s gone. Don’t know how that happened. My back was so bad last night I used my “Day Off” from working weekend duty. It’s still pretty bad. I want to exercise so badly but I’m telling myself to take the week off.

Still… last night my wife told me, not in a mean way… but she said she has to start thinking of me as handicapped. And I was like “Well… this lower back problem is not the same thing as my other stuff…” but she had to do all the Boy stuff yesterday while I layed on the couch.

But I could not stand to hear that she thought of me as crippled in any way so today I was putting dishes away and I helped her with the grocery shopping and everything else.

I tried to stay up all night last night and watch TV and eat my normal meals and it worked out very well. Tatiana is right you have to be careful when you are just bored watching TV on the couch, you want to snack mindlessly. Believe me, the chips and dip and tiny candies from the weekend party were calling my name. But I resisted and just drank diet soda in between snacks and meals. I think I ate about 1300 calories.

Then this morning I could not fall asleep because I kept falling asleep on the couch last night. So I helped my wife take The Boy to school and then we ran errands that included grocery shopping. Her lower back is also hurting her in a minor way lately so I have been giving her lower back massages.

Okay this part is kind of private and all but it’s funny so I’m going to share. After our afternoon errands we took a bath together and then we were going to get “romatic” but both our backs were hurting and then it was too funny because we could not find any good position that did not hurt one or both of us, so we ended up laughing so much it just became “cuddle time” because the mood just changed so much.

Ahhh, it’s good to be married to someone that you can laugh like that with.

Anyway.

Tonight is the Biggest Loser. I am so used to exercising during the whole program it will be hard to just sit on the couch. I really hate this.

I tried some Capasizn or whatever it is called with the pepper in the balm… and it is horrible! It doesn’t work at all. It just makes your skin burn. And not in a soothing way like IcyHot or BenGay. It just BURNS so in addition to your muscle pain your skin is burning as well. And it’s hard to wash off so everything you touch also burns.

This weekend my wife’s Dad’s side is coming. We like her Dad and his wife. And we like her sister, who is just back from Iraq. But some of the people coming are very judgemental and very materialistic. My wife is anxious because our “new” home is a Manufactured Home. It’s not like we live in a run-down trailer, it’s a nice house. But my wife is so worried because it’s not all hardwood floors and fireplaces and plasma screen TVs.

We put our time and resources into each other, our family, our son, and my wife’s education and my Air Force career. Her family does not have kids or anything like what we have. Our values are completely different. We would spend our weekends volunteering or out at the park with our son.

They would spend it shopping for brand new clothes and  cars and stuff.

But she is worried. I love her so much. I hope she’ll be okay this weekend.

—Matt