Slimdude

So things have gotten better, kind of…

 Part of my Lab results (for conditions that may cause my pain and arthritis) came back and they are all normal. Nevertheless I have been advised to seek more second opinions.I may be referred to an off-base rheumatologist.

I injured my chest at work trying to push on some AGE and that was stupid… something MUST be wrong here but I am very careful to ask them NOT to write me any scripts for pain drugs because I don’t want them to think I am looking for pills. I am also NOT looking to get discharged.

So all that is up in the air…

Good news is this morning when I got home I was “148″ and when I wake up my weight is frequently “145″.

My wife started baking for the holidays and my son is going to school again today. We are having a Halloween party, a small one… this weekend and I think a few people are coming by. I hope you all are doing great.

—Matt

WARNING : If you taped or TiVO-ed it for later, do NOT read this post because it will spoil it for you.

 That being said… thank you all for reading my below post and leaving supportive comments. It is mucho mucho appreciated!

Now I am feeling better mentally. Maybe not physically. But mentally I’m in a better place. I think seeing my wife and son all evening helped. My son was in a great mood for his bath time. My son barely says anything but he knows so many words because he’ll point to just about anything you can name and he’s started counting on his fingers.

But the boy just won’t talk. He just goes “uhn” and points to what he wants.

Oh well.

This afternoon before I had Blogged I had already done five miles on The Gazelle and then this evening I did TEN miles while watching TV. Now, listen up ya’ll! I know some of you think gliding along for ten miles is no big deal, and perhaps that is true for some folks. But for me it is a huge accomplishment because my stupid body is utterly failing me, it snaps and pops and groans and aches. I’m trying to increase my distances on the Gazelle because on Nov 2nd I’m gonna try and do 13.5 miles in a row and then on Nov 9th I’m going to try and complete a “marathon” on the Gazelle.

Anyway.

The Biggest Loser was absolutely insane tonight. The product endorsement of the evening was a little bit better. Rememeber a few weeks ago Bob plugged the 100-calorie snack packs? That was weird, because it’s still 100 calories of junk food. But I guess portion-controlled junk food is better than nothing. It’s a start. And we buy them, too.

Then last week Jillian whipped out that sugarless gum.

But the Weight Control oatmeal Bob had tonight is great. In fact, it’s what I had for breakfast today, mixed with some Lite N Fit yogurt and frozen fruit. They have three flavors and all of them are great and is very very fillinf because of the fiber and added whey protein, plus no added sugar. They flavor it with sucralose. Definitely consider picking some up. Mix one packet with some water and microwave for a minute and it is a great breakfast, or part of breakfast if you want to eat other things with it. I just wish they wouldn’t call it “Weight Control”. That seems so clinical and boring.

Okay well of course it made for great TV, but seriously… has Neil completely lost his mind? The entire blue team must be C R A Z Y because this show is supposed to be about getting healthy and losing weight, not nefarious plots and backstabbing!! Poor Jez even tried to divide up the teams fairly and what was his reward for his integrity? Being voted off! have they all lost their minds?

If I wanted this crap, I could watch “Survivor”!! But I don’t.

I would never ever ever sabotage somebody else’s chances to live a better life, and i really thought that aspect came first and all the competition would be healthy and friendly. It would be like if I was on a weight-loss team and I went to other teams’ blogs or forums and messed with them or left negative comments. I would never do that, even if I was competing against you, because the BIG PICTURE is you want everyone to succeed in their goals, and that goal for us BSers is WEIGHT LOSS and WEIGHT MAINTENANCE and GETTING FIT and HEALTHY.

Ridiculous and I was really really pissed off that Neil did not get his fat ass kicked off. Maybe that sounds harsh, but it is the way I felt.

I hope I am wrong and next week I find something to redeem Neil. But I’m not holding my breath.

—Matt

Wow. I really think all this rain and humidity has affected my arthritis in a serious way. My whole body is just crackling and popping and painful. I am considering taking a second dose of Celebrex just to sleep comfortably tonight.

 Celebrex is the only drug that has any noticeable effect on my pain at all. I’m sure if I was on one of the “blue bottled” type drugs, they would work, too… those Lortabs and Percosets and whatnot… but I have avoided those. I am not using anything addictive. I have to deal with this pain for my life so it’s not a good idea to play around with addictive pain killers.

 The only downside is that Celebrex, like other drugs of it’s type such as ibuprofin… can cause stomach bleeding and ulcers when used over and over.

 You all know I am a huge movie and TV nut : well my new favorite Reality Show is “Last One Standing”. I watched half of the new episode last night and I plan on catching the rest of it on a re-run sometime soon. It airs on DISC Channel.

 Also today I saw the very last part of one of the movie’s from Grindhouse. You remember the Quentin Tarantino / Roberto Rodriguez double feature movie that came out this summer? Well, someone bought the DVD and had it at work and it was hilarious, the part that I saw with the chick with a gun on her leg shooting Zombies. I have gotta see that whole movie.

In other news : the house is great and my wife has been over-the-moon decorating it and making it look nice. She’s like every show HGTV airs all rolled into one. She’ll ask me “Don’t these decorative plates look nice hanging here?” Now I appreciate her efforts, but come on… I am a dude! I have trouble mustering enthusiasm for plates on the wall.

My python finally ate, I have to feed him live mice… that did the trick. The poor mouse but… oh well it was like watching the Nature Channel. MMM yummy.

This weekend my Mother In Law is going to watch The Boy while we go car shopping (for a minivan, I think). I would also like to see Elisabeth. Yeah I know I said I’m a dude and it does seem like a chick flick but I loved the first one ten years ago I bet this one is awesome, too.

I’d also like to see The Kingdom and Michael Clayton. Anyone see any good movies, doesn’t matter in the theater or on DVD, new or old, PLEASE let me know in the comments I am a movie and TV nut.

—Matt

Good morning, BSers. Thanks for everyone who stopped by on my last post and wished me well. I have been a terrible slacker in terms of blogging this week and visiting blogs. I think I skipped Wed and Thur. But I was going to try and visit at least 10 blogs a day. That did not happen.

 Well… last Friday was when my lower back first had trouble. And then earlier this week I pushed it and completely hurt my lower back. Now, this is different from all the arthritis-related spine crap that goes on with me normally. This is a muscle sprain or pull or something in my lower back. But it has not healed up in a week and I think it’s because I’ve been stubborn and still been lifting things like my son and still trying to exercise and all…

 So I’m going to really watch it this weekend and see what happens. I’m going to take it really easy and the only exercise I will do is maybe maybe Gazelle a few miles if I feel up to it. I am not sure if that will help me or hurt me.

Other than that, things are pretty good.

—Matt

I’m having a great Sunday. The Boy is great, my wife is great, the House is great. Things are groovy. The doctors don’t know what to tell me really about my back and spine issues. I just have some sort of severe osteoarthritis. Hopefully it will not cause me to get discharged.

 My shoulders and neck and back always hurt. And then sometimes my feet and knees slightly ache.

 But I am in such a great mood, who cares? I’m on Dayshift this coming week. I have decided to visit 10 Buddyslim blogs everyday and offer encouraging comments everyday. 10 per day is my goal.

 Hope you all are doing great. I’m doing awesome in my walking challenge. I’m upset for tatiana that she has been injured but hopefully she’ll mend up and be back for this challenge or at least whatever one we undertake next.

 We’ll definitely have to up the ante for the next go-around.

Also I am down to 148 pounds and that has me super-psyched.

—Matt

 P.S. Has anybody seen any good movies lately? There are so many but mainly Elisabeth I really want to see. I saw the first one in 1998 and it blew me away. Has anyone seen the new one?

I feel so tired tonight. Like, unbelievably level “10″ tired, and I have to go to work in less than an hour… I got home today and fell asleep by 9am but by noon I was back up again.

This past weekend I decided to take a road trip and visit my Mom on the other side of the FL panhandle and my wife had to work so it was just me and The Boy and we had a pretty good time but my sister , who is about 12 or 13… well she spent the night with us while I was out there and she is so good but she was sick and she just got sicker as the night went on so there was that… and also for her age she seems so UN self reliant. Maybe I’m wrong but I think by the time you get that old you can start doing things like get your own drinks and food and snacks and … I don’t know. She just makes you do everything for her. She’s nice about it and polite but I don’t remember being that sheltered by my mom. She’s definitely raised her daughter differently than my brother and me.

 Yeah I’m 27 and my brother is 25 but my Mom had a girl later on and I think she’s 12. Maybe 11. Maybe 13. I forget. Like I said she’s a good girl but she just… she doesn’t do things for herself. Plus she was sick so that made it worse.

At least The Boy was good. But anyway I had Sunday nite off for Columbus Day so I returned home on Monday but I knew Monday morning at 9am when I felt exhausted from the weekend that it was going to be a tough one… oh yeah and my car got stuck in some mud and I had to get a tow truck to pull me out which cost 115 bucks!!

So yeah I was exhausted driving home on Monday and then my wife was sick but she went to work ANYWAY when I told her just to call in sick. I napped from 8pm to 10pm but I was dead tired all night I had no motivation to fix anything and all the jobs I got assigned I never could do because of some reason or another so then at 7am, like 30 minutes before I’m supposed to leave they give me some BS job and I was feeling tired and sick and I was pissed that they waited until 7am to even give me this so I didn’t end up leaving until after 8am and I missed an appointment I’ll have to make up later but anyway I got to sleep by 9am and woke up and fought off one binge at about 10:30am but around noon I got up with just a slight craving and I gave in… what’s worse is I wasn’t even really hungry at all and I remember thinking the food wasn’t even that good.

I’m so retarded I should have just gone back to bed but instead I felt too full and sick to fall asleep… I added up the extra calories and it seemed to be about 1600 so I decided to walk 8 miles = 800 calories plus skip the first two meals of the day… another 800 and I’d be okay. Up at noon?? Am I crazy? I’m running on THREE HOURS of sleep.

I know it seems a little weird but with everything else going badly the last thing I wanted was to gain weight. So I decided just to do it and then start fresh. And you know, the scale still shows me steady at “150″ and “151″ depending on when I weigh.

Argh.

I know this seems like a downer post but I’ll get thru this. It’s just that right now I’m tired and I’m not eating right and all… but it’ll get better.

It always does.

—Matt

P.S. Here’s one more Positive Note: my back is killing me. (note sarcasm)

It is Friday evening and I am just feeling very “blah” and maybe even melancholy. I am trying to catch up on my sleep before heading over to my Mom’s tomorrow for the weekend. She is turning the big 5-0 this weekend.

I had a huge binge on Thursday and instead of feeling bad or anything about it, I decided to mitigate the damage by eating a lot less overnite and I worked out a lot. Now, I did not work out very intensely, but I did end up doing the 4-mile DVD plus I Gazelled 12 miles. That’s a total of 16 miles in one day, quite a feat but I decided to put all those carbs to good use!! I watched the movie “Beerfest” while I Gazelled and it was great.

But today I am taking off from any exercise and I’m just drinking a lot of water and diet soda and trying to rest because I just don’t feel good. My son is also sick he was throwing up all night my wife told me. He has not puked today but he doesn’t feel well he just lays on the couch with us watching cartoons.

I hope I start to feel better this weekend and I hope you all don’t let this post bum you out too much. My weight has been all over the place, from 151 to 155 so who knows what it is going to be in the morning. I feel like I’m so close to breaking that 150 thresh-hold but then I eat all that junk food.

Oh well. Such is life.

—Matt

Got home this morning and took some UniSom to get to bed. I slept from about 8am until about 2:30pm so that’s not too bad. My weight is stabalizing around 150-152  depending on when I weigh-in. I really think I’m going to break 150 by this weekend.

Oh but this morning I kept hearing the “siren’s call” to binge… at 10am I actually got up and poured out a bowl of cereal and then had a Hot Pocket going in the microwave… a “Lean Pocket” actually… and I could feel the usual frenzied urge inside my head and I knew it would never ever end at just those two things. So I poured the dry cereal back in the box and when the LP was done in the Microwave I just wrapped it up in aluminum foil and put it in the fridge. I drank a bottle of water and cracked open a Diet Rite and took a few sips on that… I calmed down and went back to bed.

A few hours later I was up again and the voices in my head (not literally, ya’ll) were telling me to eat that Lean Pocket and then work off the calories but I told myself, “No this is not about the calories, or the weight-loss… this is about ending this habit.” and again I went back to bed.

So I’m very happy with myself that I made it through yet another day and fought off a binge.

 In other news…

Job is going well these days. The planes have been doing very very well. My snake won’t eat. He is still a baby and supposed to eat every week or so. I’m still trying…

My wife is sick and I bet I catch whatever she has.

My son is well. And tonite is The Biggest Loser on NBC.

—Matt

you know, BSers… after having such a fantastic week, the last thing I wanted to do was crawl on here on Sunday afternoon and have bad news on the diet front.

Long story short, I had the grand-daddy of all binges last night. I can’t even explain why. I got up at maybe 11pm or so… I was not even that hungry. A diet soda and some Saturday Night Live would have easily satisfied me. And yet… I gave in… in a major way. I know I was not hungry because I did the “hunger test”. That’s where I ask myself if I could eat some celery or carrots or even fruit. You see, my theory is, If I am really hungry and it’s not just a craving you’ll eat those things. But no… I started with some OREO crisps and it was a massive downhill slide from there.

The scale numbers were incredibly cruel this morning and I am extremely dissapointed in myself that I blew my streak.

BUT! I refuse to let it get me permanently down for the day. I was too full to eat breakfast so I just had some coffee with some sugar-free creamer and for lunch I had a spinach salad with tofu which was very good. I have also Gazelled ten miles today. I have to do some things for “damage control” and also the exercise makes me feel better in mood.

I’m watching The Truth About Food on Discovery Health.

You know what? Taking it one day at a time again, and I’m going to see if, just one day at a time… October can be a completely binge-free month!

BTW, had a great time yesterday with my parents and when I took The Boy to the store to look for CDs, he walked right up to the display of “Best Sellers” and picked out the last copy they had of Kanye West’s “Graduation”, which I did not even see!! He grabbed it and held it up to me and so I let him play extra long in the toy car things in front of the grocery store.

Gosh it was so hard to get on here and admit to that terrible binge last night… I was riding such a high and I was so damn proud of myself. I always think I’ve got that habit licked and then… gee… you know… the kind of things I was telling myself last night : “I’ve been so good this week, I deserve this.” <—  That is the thought that triggered it. And then once I started, it was “Oh heck, I’ve already eaten three bagels, cookies, etc… might as well have some peanut butter and waffles…”

I’ve got to learn not to listen to that kind of thing in my head. And I’m not gonna let it keep me down. I refuse to do that!

—Matt

I have decided that since I have done do well this week and dropped to 151 pounds I get to buy Timbaland’s Album “Shock Value” and Kanye’s new one, “Graduation”.

I am very excited this morning because I did my 4 Mile “fast walk” DVD with Leslie… my Dad and Step-Mom are here visiting. Today we are going to the Zoo. I did not binge all week long and tonight will make seven days in a row.

Last night I even had some Rum and Low-Carb Full Throttle… I just worked it into my calorie budget for yesterday, which was pretty generous considering I lifted weights AND walked 8 miles in all. Not counting the chasing around my son in the backyard.

Hope you all have a great weekend!

—Matt