Slimdude

Yes indeed, things are going relatively well. At the end of my shift last night I could barely move.

Sometimes it is very hard to explain to people exactly what this feels like. Imagine somebody had thrust steel rods into your back and into your right leg. All the way up thru your shoulders and neck. Now, near the middle of your back, they have attached a cable and they are tugging away at it. That is what it feels like. On “good days” it just feels VERY uncomfortable.

On “bad days” it is like sharp, white pain to even move a bit. Add to that when my knees have a dull ache and my left foot sometimes does the same thing. Taking Celebrex and the other mild muscle relaxer, the Flexeril… helps a litle. But I’m not on anything major.

I am currently undergoing tests to find out if there is something underlying like Osteoporosis, Osteoarthritis, or something in the Rheumatoid family that is causing me to break overall.

MarathonGirl asked how did I break 7 ribs.

Answer: About 4 weeks ago, I was using my chest to push on a piece of AGE which is basically anything we need to hook up to the jet to do our work. AGE stands for “Aerospace Ground Equipment”. Well, my chest sort of “popped” in. It is only painful for a moment, and I am used to it, honestly. But I still had pains that night everytime I would need to support my body in any sort of push-up style position…(to do my job I have to lean into the cockpit of a jet fighter frequently…) so I went to Medical in the AM to make sure I was “okay”.

Well…. initially they just took some X-rays, put me on “light duty” and sent me packing with some mild muscle relaxers. Nothing major. Maybe it was even Ibuprofin. But then a week later or so the Radiologist called and said he wanted to do a CT Scan for things he “noticed”.

Well… After the scan they called me and said I needed to come in ASAP!

Turns out that night I HAD fractured a rib in my upper left side, AND I had been living with SIX FRACTURED ribs in my back for AT LEAST two months. I do not know how I did it, only that I have been having more and more pain the past few months and they were very dismissive of me everytime I went over there.

So now I am on a waiver that says I can basically do nothing until I heal.

On some days now just getting up from the couch and to the kitchen is a major ordeal.

But I am determined that I will heal up by the end of this year and be good as new.

——

Sorry for the long post, BSers, but I also have some other things to write about besides my ribs and all that jazz.

I ordered a little mini-pedal bike thingie from Amazon.com and it arrived last night. I’m so happy because it means that I can get in some sort of activity while I sit on the couch and watch TV. I will let you know what I think and which model it is in case you have similar issues to mine and can barely do anything for exercise.

The great news is, even without strenuous exercise, I have been faithfully adhereing to my diet of about 1500 cal per day of good food and I am dropping weight. The scale hovers right around “143″ which is my goal for this week by Sunday.

No binges though I will tell you what I have done is tell myself I can have unlimited water, diet soda, celery, gum, pickles and sugar free gelatin with FF whipped topping. So sometimes I do have a baby pickle, a diet soda and some jell-O and even if I sit there and “pig out” on this stuff it doesn’t add up to nearly the calories I used to set myself back on a binge.

So I think changing my mentality from “can’t snack at all” to certain foods that I can eat as much as I want has really helped. I usually get satisfied with a few pickles and maybe one or two Gelatins, sometimes all it takes it water and diet soda. Anyway, it has helped a lot.

Just a thought.

Tonite is my Favorite Show: Last One Standing.

—Matt

Just some random thoughts for this Wednesday night:

*I’m loving the new Britney album. It’s almost too catchy for it’s own damn good. I love a great pop album and this certainly is it. There are at least ten radio-ready hits on it if not more.

*My son was in a terribly bratty mood today. We all went out to Po Folks for dinner. I’m not crazy about Po Folks and to tell you the truth, I really wanted my oatmeal for… well… it’s my breakfast but everyone else’s dinner… because it was about 6pm. But I went because being with my family is more important that my stupid oatmeal. But my son (who is almost two) was being so moody and whiny today. The final straw was at 8pm tonight I was willing to share my Vitalicious brownie with him. I had my brownie and some no-sugar added choc ice cream as my “snack” and he wanted to hold the spoon but I would not let him so he pitched a fit. His mother and I had had enough so he went to bed a half hour early. We were suprised he conked right out after we left the room. Guess the poor guy was just too tired today. But I am not going to be terrorized by a two year old, no matter how much I love the little dude.

*My work has been so supportive of me healing from this rib injury. They harrass me in fun about being “crippled” but they know I must be in a lot of pain with seven broken ribs. Their favorite joke is about my wife beating me. But my wife reports that if she had hit me with a bat, she would have made damn sure it was 9 ribs broken instead of just 7. Hahahaha. What a funny gal.

*I do have Squadron PC tonight, but all I do is ride the recumbent bike. To tell you the truth, the rib thing IS painful, especially the longer I am awake and moving around, but the lower back issues are what is really getting to me. It is a bitch to reach down for something or lift something as simple as a gallon of freaking milk and have your lower back painfully spasm. I really hate this. I feel like an invalid.

*I am sort of digging the new NBC show, Phenomenon. The one where spoon-bending sensation Uri Gellar and Mind Freek Cris Angel look for our next great magician slash illusionist.

*The Biggest Loser was rather uneventful this week. The product placement was decent, Jenn-O turkey. Never had it but it looks okay. The going green idea was kind of neat.

*I love having my Sister in Law here. The Boy adores her. It’s really weird that her husband has gone to stay on the other side of Florida because he wants to play golf with their Dad. He actually told my SiL that our home is “trashy”. I can’t believe that. Our home is very clean and it looks great! But I think it’s because we live in a “manufactured” home. He thinks it is beneath him to stay here. I am really stunned because I don’t run into many people with his mentality. I am always thinking about impoverished kids in Darfur or whatever, and most Americans I know have the same mindset… very charitable and non-judgemental. But this guy is way up into things like rims on cars and video games and all that. The more bling the better.

And what really pisses me off is the way he treats my SiL. My SiL and my wife are twins. And they are different personality-wise, but I love them both so much. And I think my SiL deserves to have someone who will adore her and take care of her and make her feel special the way I try to do with my wife. But he doesn’t. She completely dotes on him and he acts like he could not give two farts about anything she wants and it really makes me sad.

Oh well. Some women just put up with too much from assholes because they don’t think they deserve better. But they do.

We all do.

—Matt

P.S. In weight-related news, still no binges and the scale said “142″ today when I first got up at 3pm. I’m elated to be so damn close but on the other I think I’m probably dropping weight too fast. Maybe 1500 calories is a little too low. But then again, I’m so close I can start playing with “maintenance calories” soon enough…

I thought maybe I would take a moment to explain why there are always junk type stuff stuff in the house. Yes, it is true that my wife tries to eat healthy. But at the same time, she loves to bake and make sweets. She also buys more junk food than I do. I would never buy bags of chips and Doritos and stuff but she does.

Believe me, we’ve been down this road and discussed the whole thing and basically it came down to “I am a grown man and I have to control what I eat, regardless of what is in the house.”

It is frustrating, I won’t lie. I feel like if I was an alchoholic or a smoker my wife would take it seriously and not have booze and cigs lying around, but with food people think it’s different. My wife is the type of person who can buy a whole box of OREOs and literally eat one or two. And then  the whole thing just sits there for a week, taunting me…

So anyway, yes… we’ve had our issues and she knows it is hard for me but I think she underestimates how hard it is. But usually when we bake stuff like brownies and cakes she lets me take them all to work.

My wife has a lot of self-esteem and guilt issues and I love her so so so much I’d rather not have her think that she contributes to my weight struggle in any way. So that’s pretty much THAT whole situation.

She will not support me in losing weight and I do not ask her to anymore because she gets very upset at even the notion that she could be contributing…

In brighter news, I ordered one of those little “Mini-Pedal” bike things from Amazon.com. You know, the type that you can put anywhere and just peddle away the calories with your feet or arms. I got the one with the highest user rating versus price, it was about 35 bucks. Because…

Okay like today my back is killing me, there is NO WAY I am going to Gazelle or walk. But if I had that I could at least pedal and stay active while watching TV (or Blogging!).

I have some Vitalicious Chocolate Muffins in the oven. If you don’t know about Vitalicious, you have GOT to try them. Basically they are “healthy” brownies. In so many flavors, you can buy them pre=packaged or in the mix and bake them up yourself. Take my word for it, they are delicious and they come packed with protein and fiber and only 100 calories per muffin. I like mine with a squirt of fat free Reddi Whip or some Fat Free Cool Whip frozen, I swear it’s like you are eating ice cream and cake but you’re only eating like 140 calories, plus all that protein and fiber. It is one “cheat” that’s not cheating at all but you will feel like it is.

Their website is www.vitalicious.com

I swear, one Chocolate VitaMuffin + Scoop of frozen fat free cool whip + some fat free reddi whip on top = no guilt cake and ice cream.

—Matt

P.S. stepped on the scale today and it said “143.5″. Oh Mr. Scale you are too kind, my friend.

It has been really really hard around here to resist all this stuff. Currently there is a pizza in my house, some donuts, a huge slab of apple pie, some cookies, ice cream, crackers, potato chips and dip, candy, pumpkin pie…

 That’s not to mention all the regular food. And yet I have valiantly resisted. The hardest part is always when I’m supposed to be asleep. I’ll wake up at noon or 1pm and if nobody’s around, I just go to town.

But the scale is holding steady at 145 pounds, and this is at the “end of the day” when I’m fully hydrated and filled up on food. I tell myself I have come to far to slip up now. And these days, exercise is not a given. I have a lot of other obligations so not only is it hard to fit in, but I cannot exercise with the intensity or duration I once could. Sometimes just a half hour of Gazelle-ing (about two miles) is all I can manage.

Still, I am sticking to my 1500 calories a day, more or less and I think I’m on the right track.

Now to get some shut-eye.

—Matt

I was just watching that BBC in America show, “You are What You Eat.” I love that show. I’m so glad we have Knowlogy Cable now, it is so much better than any other cable company we’ve ever had.

There is a bottle of pee in my fridge because of the “24-hour urine collection” test the hospital ordered. I can’t tell you how bizarre that is to have this big red bottle in there.

I did Gazelle 5 miles today and I see a few people stopped by to read my Blog from this morning. I’ve just been really happy with myself lately because I’ve been managing to get some exercise in and eat right. I have not had a binge in over a week now, and I’m super psyched about that.

My S-i-L is staying with us right now. She’s also in the AF and she just got back from a 6-month tour in Iraq. The job she does is one of the less dangerous jobs over there, but that relatively speaking. She was in more danger every day over there than I have been here in Florida, that’s for sure. It’s so nice having her stay with us but what is weird is her husband is “not comfortable” here so he has elected to stay in a Hotel in town.

They have a weird relationship. He’s kind of “stuck up” so part of the reason he won’t stay here is because we live in a manufactured home. I love my house. It’s not like a run-down redneck trailer. It’s a nice house. But he won’t stay here at all. He also doesn’t like any of her family.

Now, I have known my wife and her family for over ten years now. We met in high school and have been together ever since. We got married in 2001. I love my In-Laws very much. But my Brother-in-Law, the one we are talking about… he doesn’t really like them. He’s a weird guy to figure out. He seems kind of nice but he also is very insistent on having his way. They’ve been married two years now I think. He spends a lot of $$$ on clothes and gadgets, golf and massages. They make more than we do but it’s not like they are “rollin in the dough”.

Hmmm…

Anyway, I really liked the new Britney Spears album, although certain tracks sound like cast-offs from Timbalands’s “Shock Value” album. “Danja” is the name of one of Brit’s producers on this album, and he is a Timbaland protege, and it sounds it…

It’s very dancey in a mid-90s synth kind of way. “Radar” and “Heaven on Earth” really stick out so far. As a parent, I just hope she straightens up her act in that respect because she is missing out.

I love being a Dad.

—Matt

Yeah I changed my avatar again… it’s still David Beckham, but isn’t it cool? He’s all smiley faced, just like me. Last night I went back to bed after writing the below post and I did not binge or snack or anything. Just some water and that Coke Zero.

 So this morning I was in a good mood and woke up a little early and the scale says I am now “145″ pounds. That is only 5 pounds away from my goal. I do not expect to have an 8 pound loss this week. So I am setting a modest goal of 2 more pounds… by next Sunday I will be 143 pounds. And my reward for losing two pounds and CONTINUING my “no-binge / no nite snacking” streak (which is now officially on DAY SEVEN, HURRAY!) will be a dual magazine subscription to DETAILS and GQ. On one hand, I enjoy these two mags a lot. On the other, they do the same thing to my psyche that I’m sure women’s magazines do to women.

 I see the ultra-thin dudes in there and I’m convinced that’s what I have to look like. I know a lot of women have the same issues. The good thing is, with me… if I diet and exercise I can come pretty close. I can’t get all big and huge like Arnold or Sly Stallone but I do a good job of being lean and having abs and everything.

But it has certainly taken work. I’m never gonna sit here and say “Oh I don’t diet. I don’t workout.”

What bullcrap. I hate it when celebrities say that. They are lying their ass off. They do “diet”. Just see Dr. Marc’s current Blog post about Mel B. “Scary Spice”. The stars eat right and they exercise. And what that can’t accomplish they make up for with makeup and hair teams and then airbrushing.

Nobody’s perfect. That’s why it helps to have other areas of focus.  Yes, it is nice when I have abs and a tan and I can fit into size 30 jeans… but I also have planes to fix and a family to take care of.

I did reward myself with the new Britney album. I’m very into dance music. Believe me, I take a lot of flak for it but I’m unapologetic about it. I love Rihanna and Ciara and Madonna and all that uber-flaming “gay” dance music.

So far I’m on the 4th or 5th song and it is really really good. I downloaded it from iTunes, which has the most complicated user interface, I swear. That’s why I’ll never switch to Apple from Microsoft. I can fix computer systems on multi-million dollar warplanes but I can’t master iTunes.

Go figure.

Time for some BlogSurfing.

—Matt

I’ve blogged before about how, very often — my house is full of tasty treats and sinful sweets.

 Today is another one of those days. Bowls of leftover Halloween candy… (which I need to take to work!!) and now we have this family get-together where all the food is high in carbs and high in fat. My strategy, though a little eccentric, is this : I simply had a balanced meal before everyone arrived and then sipped on Diet Coke while everybody ate.

It’s hard because the social norm is to pile up your plate with everything… and then you go back for seconds… and don’t forget all the desserts!! But I have to learn, if you want to be slim, you have to change your mindset. So I simply did not eat anything from the “buffet”. Macaroni and Cheese, Rolls, Sweet Potato stuff with Marshmellows on top. Now the ham doesn’t look too bad so maybe I’ll have a small slice or two and lots of veggies for dinner.

The desserts do look good and smell good : A huge honking apple pie and a pumpkin pie. Perhaps you are the type to take a few spoonfuls of each thing and stop at one plate. I myself am much better off simply avoiding it all.

The real trick will be later on tonight, at 2am… when the carbs and sweets call my name. Will I be able to resist? If I go one more night, it’ll make one week since I woke up and pigged out. That is quite a milestone for me.

Somebody asked me about seeking a Chiro for my lower back. I’ve considered it, but I think really I just need to take it easy on myself. I’m a stubborn Taurus and I try to do too much.

Now I’m going to visit some of you.

—Matt

Well, I do not know how much I will be able to Blog and Blog-Surf because it is already 6:15am and my son will probably wake up soon.

I went for a mild walk this morning… I think I covered three miles, which means I officially completed The Thanksgiving Walking Challenge. But I’ll still keep track of how many more miles I can get before then.

I am in kind-of a lot of pain this morning. Stiffness in the knees and left foot. Lower back is mildly sore and of course the rest of the crap-ola from my ribs. But at least now I know. Even as I was walking this morning I found myself wondering if perhaps I couldn’t at least do some biceps curls or something like that… it is going to be really hard for me to just “take it easy” these next few months.

The great news is, almost a week has passed since my last binge and my eating has been right on-point. This morning the scale says “144″. I wonder if that is a fluke? Tomorrow is my “official” weigh-in day, so I’ll update my ticker tomorrow.

Now I am going to try and see how many Blogs I can visit before my son gets up. My S-I-L is here staying with us. The rest of my In-Laws are at a campground about 30 minutes away. We are all supposed to spend the day together and I am looking forward to that.

Have a Great Weekend, BSers.

—Matt

That’s what I’m drinking right now as I Blog, and it is my current favorite diet soda. I know not everyone is a fan of diet soda, but I am. I drank diet soda the first two times I lost weight and I have had it consistently as I lose weight this time.

I know that I said I would stay off the scale until Sunday but I have to reveal that I’ve been peeking… the highest weight was “150″ and the lowest was “147″ so far this week. So even with no exercise, my diet has been good enough to where I have met that little goal of three pounds this week.

In a way, I knew I would because my weight is really around “150″ and it was just high on Sunday morning because I binged so badly Saturday night.

But it’s already Wednesday and I have not binged or cheated on my diet, even though it’s very hard right now because our house is full of brownies and candies.

My lower back is still kind of sore. But now more in a way after you get in a good workout. Like a constant ache rather than spasms. I worked last night and I didn’t carry anything heavier than our lap-tops. But these are like industrial weight military lap-tops. I also had to climb in and out of the cockpit to do avionics checks and that was relatively hard also.

Also my shoulders and neck have been really bad … a lot of pins and needles and sparking action… not sure if it’s related to the back thing or not. But when I looked it up online there are so many types of arthritis and so many drugs they can try and use.  I am going to seek out a chiropractor also… I don’t want this thing to get worse but I think a Chiro might be able to help.

In addition, Med called and said they want to do a CT scan after “re-evaluating” my last X-ray. I took that X-Ray a week ago at least. It kind of scares me they want to “re-evaluate” ??? Something about “abnormal cartilege.”

I am also supposed to see a Rheumatologist before the end of the year.

I would like to find out what is the cause of all this. All these aches and pains. And have it be NON-fatal and TREATABLE.

Nevertheless, I managed to fix both planes I was on last night and when I woke up today at 3:30pm I Gazelled 4 miles. My back didn’t spasm so I was okay.

Tonight I am supposed to go to the gym and I think I will try the elliptical first and if that is too harsh I will try the recumbent bike.

Oh and should I recap The Biggest Loser? I guess I will keep watching it after all. I can’t believe they kept Neil AND let him use that weight-loss.

Oh well.

—Matt

Well, I wrote this really long post earlier but now it’s gone. Don’t know how that happened. My back was so bad last night I used my “Day Off” from working weekend duty. It’s still pretty bad. I want to exercise so badly but I’m telling myself to take the week off.

Still… last night my wife told me, not in a mean way… but she said she has to start thinking of me as handicapped. And I was like “Well… this lower back problem is not the same thing as my other stuff…” but she had to do all the Boy stuff yesterday while I layed on the couch.

But I could not stand to hear that she thought of me as crippled in any way so today I was putting dishes away and I helped her with the grocery shopping and everything else.

I tried to stay up all night last night and watch TV and eat my normal meals and it worked out very well. Tatiana is right you have to be careful when you are just bored watching TV on the couch, you want to snack mindlessly. Believe me, the chips and dip and tiny candies from the weekend party were calling my name. But I resisted and just drank diet soda in between snacks and meals. I think I ate about 1300 calories.

Then this morning I could not fall asleep because I kept falling asleep on the couch last night. So I helped my wife take The Boy to school and then we ran errands that included grocery shopping. Her lower back is also hurting her in a minor way lately so I have been giving her lower back massages.

Okay this part is kind of private and all but it’s funny so I’m going to share. After our afternoon errands we took a bath together and then we were going to get “romatic” but both our backs were hurting and then it was too funny because we could not find any good position that did not hurt one or both of us, so we ended up laughing so much it just became “cuddle time” because the mood just changed so much.

Ahhh, it’s good to be married to someone that you can laugh like that with.

Anyway.

Tonight is the Biggest Loser. I am so used to exercising during the whole program it will be hard to just sit on the couch. I really hate this.

I tried some Capasizn or whatever it is called with the pepper in the balm… and it is horrible! It doesn’t work at all. It just makes your skin burn. And not in a soothing way like IcyHot or BenGay. It just BURNS so in addition to your muscle pain your skin is burning as well. And it’s hard to wash off so everything you touch also burns.

This weekend my wife’s Dad’s side is coming. We like her Dad and his wife. And we like her sister, who is just back from Iraq. But some of the people coming are very judgemental and very materialistic. My wife is anxious because our “new” home is a Manufactured Home. It’s not like we live in a run-down trailer, it’s a nice house. But my wife is so worried because it’s not all hardwood floors and fireplaces and plasma screen TVs.

We put our time and resources into each other, our family, our son, and my wife’s education and my Air Force career. Her family does not have kids or anything like what we have. Our values are completely different. We would spend our weekends volunteering or out at the park with our son.

They would spend it shopping for brand new clothes and  cars and stuff.

But she is worried. I love her so much. I hope she’ll be okay this weekend.

—Matt