Slimdude

Good morning, BSers and Welcome to The Couch Potato Diaries, Day Numero Uno.

These next 35 days, — that’s five weeks — will be dedicated to me healing as much as possible from the recent injuries I have suffered. That is to say, seven— count ‘em, SEVEN— fractured ribs. That’s one up front and six in the back. And by the way, why do people keep asking me if they are “broken… or fractured…?” because from everything I can tell on the Internet, it means the same thing. A fracture is a break. I learned that in Boy Scouts.

So this Blog is where I will bring to you all my random thoughtedness from my couch and from the world of Cable Television, mindless vapid hole that it is, but which I am addicted to.

At the same time, here is my struggle to keep on losing weight. Even though my activity level will have to be low-low-low, as far as I can tell, keeping my calories between 1200-1500 per day should still result in weight loss.

I have binged for 3 nights straight, let;s get that confession right out of the way right now. You’d think I’d be all like “Damn… I was so close to 140 and now here I am back up near 150… 149.5 to be exact…” but I’m not at all.

I’m very positive and motivated that I can still lose about 2 pounds per week and by the time 5 weeks have passed I betcha I am at my goal weight of 140. I’m just gonna keep on doing my three-hour meal and snack timing, lean proteins, good carbs, fruits veggies et cetera,… you guys know the drill.

My little goal this week will be to clock in at 148 by Sunday. Easy!

I am in a little bit of back and leg pain this morning but I decided to get on up and take a shower and shave my grizzly-adams looking face and put on a little bit of old spice. If I’m going to lay around all day in pain I can at least make an effort to look and smell decent, right?

Hey I’m so excited my wife has decided she wants to be a Nurse! She is so motivated. My wife is way way way smarter than me and she likes school more than I do. It’s not like she LOOOOOVES it, ya know, but she does it anyway. Right now she is in a few classes just to get her… regular degree? But starting in January she is going to go full time in classes that go towards nursing. I think she would be a fantastic nurse and the rate at which I am going God knows I’m going to need a great nurse around.

Okay well now I have made a vow to myself to visit AT LEAST ten other BS blogs a day, if not more and leave motivational comments if I can think of some good ones. You all have been so good to me, I need to return the favor.

I’ll probably be back later but who knows WHAT the day will bring? It’s early yet.

—Matt

Thanks to all the BSers who left me such supportive comments on my last post. You have no idea what it means to have this community to reach out to and have you leave comments like that.

On one hand, I really feel weird logging on and pouring out all these negative, depressing emotions regarding my current situation. It’s not the kind of man I want to be. But on the other, it does feel nice to have a safe and secure place where I can write about how much pain I am in and the emotions I am having that go along with it.

Saturday and Sunday all I have done is lie on the couch. My wife has done everything around the house and with my son. I admit that sometimes it is pretty nice to lie there and watch stupid TV. because ya’ll know I like TV. But give me a break, 12-16 hours a day of cable TV? Yikes!

So I try to get up about every hour or so and do something, like Blog… or do a few dishes. Or put away a few clothes.

But the pain has gotten so bad that even that just wipes me out. Just 10 little minutes of moving around and my whole body is just lit up with sparkly white pain and I have GOT to lay down again.

I hate asking my wife to do anything for me, even though she is the most patient and kind-hearted person. I know she would do anything for me, but it seems so unfair that I just lay on the couch while she takes care of The Boy and all the household stuff too.

I really feel badly about it.

Then there is the fact that laying on the couch with little to do doesn’t put me in the best mood. It makes me sad and depressed. So here I am, this sad depressed lump in pain on the damn couch.

My boss did me a huge favor and said I could take tomorrow off, since the damn doctors didn’t even offer that to me. Uhm, yeah… in the military getting time off is like pulling teeth sometimes. I can’t believe they didn’t even offer to let me stay home. But like I said, my boss gave me the day off tomorrow… and on Tuesday I will take leave. I think I have more than a month saved up on vacation days. So I’m going to take as many weeks as I can. I’m going to sit on my couch and heal.

And who knows? If I can stick to a good diet I could probably even lose a little more weight! Even with no activity. Maybe about 1400 calories per day?

The hard part is you eat out of BOREDOM, not hunger.

I’ll have to watch that.

Once again, thanks for all your support BSers. If you ever think you can’t make a difference with some stupid internet comments, you are wrong. Your comments make me think it is possible for me to resist the junk food, possible to heal, and return better than ever in the coming months!!

—Matt

Well, BSers… the scale showed a gain of two pounds this week. I’m not surprised. All I’ve done is sit around and eat junk food all weekend.

I think it’s a stupid cycle. I am in so much pain lately. My whole body just radiates pain. And I guess one way that I “self-medicate” is with junk food. But in the end , it’s not going to make me feel better. It’ll just make me feel worse as I gain weight.

So I’m going to try and stay positive… I’ll take it easy today and I’ll try to eat about 1000 calories of good food spaced evenely throughout the day. I’ll try to ride my little easy pedal thing for an hour this morning but I’m not sure that I can. Like I said, my entire body, from my feet to my neck is just in so much pain unless I am lying on the couch motionless. I think that my tendency to laugh and joke and be a “good guy” has decieved people… they don’t realize how much it hurts to have these cracked ribs. But I have got to just lie around and watch TV today. Period.

Tomorrow I’ll bump back up to about 1500 calories per day and hopefully by the end of this week I’ll be back around 145 or so.

I hope I’m not bedridden all week.

This sucks.

—Matt

I did it again / I got up and ate

I was on a roll / 11 days straight

I guess I’ll start over / what else can I do?

A fresh start today / my life is brand new!

I’ll pedal away / as much as I can

A low calorie day / is part of the plan

And by tomorrow I’ll be back on my way

I hope I still get to 143 by Sunday!

Hello, BSers and welcome to Friday! Is everybody ready for a fantastic weekend? I have no idea WHAT I am going to do this weekend… it’s looking to be an “easy weekend” for me. I’m hoping to either watch my son a lot so my wife can enjoy some time to herself OR get somebody else to watch him so that we can have a date or something.

Her sister has been here all week long so while I sleep (or rather, attempt to sleep) during the day they have been hanging out, sometimes with their Mom who also lives here in town, and sometimes even with The Boy. He normally attends DayCare but sometimes if they want to do something fun they will leave him out of “school” for the day and he goes with them.

For instance, Thursday they went to the local aquarium where they have fish and animals and dolphin shows and he liked all that.

But he is nearing the “Terrible Two”s now and sometimes he whines and cries and pitches a fit a lot and I just won’t have it. I don’t believe in giving in to him when he whines or cries. I believe in putting him in “time out” — his crib and then he can cry and whine all he wants to. It usually calms him down immedietly because he cannot stand to be by himself and have no one to play with.

My wife gives in more than I do and I keep telling her she is just encouraging his behaviour. Like last night she had a milkshake and he wanted to hold the straw and when she would not let him he pitches a hissy fit and she actually made him his own sippy sup of her milkshake. I wanted him to be sent to time out ASAP.

Another thing is I don’t really spank him but sometimes if he does something like hit me in the face or reach and grab something I told him not to, I will give him a “pop” high on his leg near his diaper or on his hand, but I feel REALLY DUMB saying ” We don’t hit!” and then popping his hand. Any other parents with thoughts on this? Time out DOES work so should I just stick to that and not the idiotic “popping” on his hand?

In weight-loss and diet news: I bought a little “mini-exercise bike”… you know, like a pedal thing? From Amazon.com for about 35 bucks and I really like it so far. It makes just a slight little noise not even really noticeable. I love that I have a form of activity that I can do mindlessly while watching TV and it doesn’t hurt my back at all. I just sit there and pedal away on the couch. We do have carpet so I had to push it against the coffee table to prevent it from sliding away. It has an adjustable resistance so I set it to about the same level as the recumbent bikes at the gym.

I am glad I own it, I probably burn about 300 calories per hour just watching TV and pedaling. It could also be used with your arms on a counter-top if your legs were out-of-commision. It is super light even though it is very strudy stainless steel. The only real downside is the sides get super-duper hot from the friction so if the Boy is around I have to watch him like a hawk because if he reached out and grabbed it — it might burn his little hand.

The scale keeps hovering around 143 pounds. I have not had a binge in over a week, Sunday morning will make two weeks officially I am so proud of myself. I wake up and think a little about all the stuff I could have, but then I usually just realize I’m not hungry I just want a nibble, so if I really want to munch, I get down on some celery and salsa or perhaps a gelatin dessert.

Somebody said a while back to concentrate on all the good things I CAN have , and they are right. We are so lucky in America to have such good foods… sugar free this and low carb that. Not to mention just regular stuff like fish and eggs and whole grains and everything. plus access to all this nutritional info and ways to stay active and yet here we are sitting around doing next to nothing and stuffing our gob holes with the worst foods imaginable.

Oh well.

Tonight I think I will have some tilapia and broccoli with ranch-flavored salsa ( I take a little fat free ranch powder from the packet and sprinkle it into salsa) and then for dessert some sugar free strawberry Jell-O with sugar free choc pudding and some FF reddi whip. That’s only about 300 calories for everything.

Maybe before bed some sugar free cocoa.

And some snuggle time with the family. Sound like a nice Friday night. Hope all yours are just as great.

—Matt

Yes indeed, things are going relatively well. At the end of my shift last night I could barely move.

Sometimes it is very hard to explain to people exactly what this feels like. Imagine somebody had thrust steel rods into your back and into your right leg. All the way up thru your shoulders and neck. Now, near the middle of your back, they have attached a cable and they are tugging away at it. That is what it feels like. On “good days” it just feels VERY uncomfortable.

On “bad days” it is like sharp, white pain to even move a bit. Add to that when my knees have a dull ache and my left foot sometimes does the same thing. Taking Celebrex and the other mild muscle relaxer, the Flexeril… helps a litle. But I’m not on anything major.

I am currently undergoing tests to find out if there is something underlying like Osteoporosis, Osteoarthritis, or something in the Rheumatoid family that is causing me to break overall.

MarathonGirl asked how did I break 7 ribs.

Answer: About 4 weeks ago, I was using my chest to push on a piece of AGE which is basically anything we need to hook up to the jet to do our work. AGE stands for “Aerospace Ground Equipment”. Well, my chest sort of “popped” in. It is only painful for a moment, and I am used to it, honestly. But I still had pains that night everytime I would need to support my body in any sort of push-up style position…(to do my job I have to lean into the cockpit of a jet fighter frequently…) so I went to Medical in the AM to make sure I was “okay”.

Well…. initially they just took some X-rays, put me on “light duty” and sent me packing with some mild muscle relaxers. Nothing major. Maybe it was even Ibuprofin. But then a week later or so the Radiologist called and said he wanted to do a CT Scan for things he “noticed”.

Well… After the scan they called me and said I needed to come in ASAP!

Turns out that night I HAD fractured a rib in my upper left side, AND I had been living with SIX FRACTURED ribs in my back for AT LEAST two months. I do not know how I did it, only that I have been having more and more pain the past few months and they were very dismissive of me everytime I went over there.

So now I am on a waiver that says I can basically do nothing until I heal.

On some days now just getting up from the couch and to the kitchen is a major ordeal.

But I am determined that I will heal up by the end of this year and be good as new.

——

Sorry for the long post, BSers, but I also have some other things to write about besides my ribs and all that jazz.

I ordered a little mini-pedal bike thingie from Amazon.com and it arrived last night. I’m so happy because it means that I can get in some sort of activity while I sit on the couch and watch TV. I will let you know what I think and which model it is in case you have similar issues to mine and can barely do anything for exercise.

The great news is, even without strenuous exercise, I have been faithfully adhereing to my diet of about 1500 cal per day of good food and I am dropping weight. The scale hovers right around “143″ which is my goal for this week by Sunday.

No binges though I will tell you what I have done is tell myself I can have unlimited water, diet soda, celery, gum, pickles and sugar free gelatin with FF whipped topping. So sometimes I do have a baby pickle, a diet soda and some jell-O and even if I sit there and “pig out” on this stuff it doesn’t add up to nearly the calories I used to set myself back on a binge.

So I think changing my mentality from “can’t snack at all” to certain foods that I can eat as much as I want has really helped. I usually get satisfied with a few pickles and maybe one or two Gelatins, sometimes all it takes it water and diet soda. Anyway, it has helped a lot.

Just a thought.

Tonite is my Favorite Show: Last One Standing.

—Matt

Just some random thoughts for this Wednesday night:

*I’m loving the new Britney album. It’s almost too catchy for it’s own damn good. I love a great pop album and this certainly is it. There are at least ten radio-ready hits on it if not more.

*My son was in a terribly bratty mood today. We all went out to Po Folks for dinner. I’m not crazy about Po Folks and to tell you the truth, I really wanted my oatmeal for… well… it’s my breakfast but everyone else’s dinner… because it was about 6pm. But I went because being with my family is more important that my stupid oatmeal. But my son (who is almost two) was being so moody and whiny today. The final straw was at 8pm tonight I was willing to share my Vitalicious brownie with him. I had my brownie and some no-sugar added choc ice cream as my “snack” and he wanted to hold the spoon but I would not let him so he pitched a fit. His mother and I had had enough so he went to bed a half hour early. We were suprised he conked right out after we left the room. Guess the poor guy was just too tired today. But I am not going to be terrorized by a two year old, no matter how much I love the little dude.

*My work has been so supportive of me healing from this rib injury. They harrass me in fun about being “crippled” but they know I must be in a lot of pain with seven broken ribs. Their favorite joke is about my wife beating me. But my wife reports that if she had hit me with a bat, she would have made damn sure it was 9 ribs broken instead of just 7. Hahahaha. What a funny gal.

*I do have Squadron PC tonight, but all I do is ride the recumbent bike. To tell you the truth, the rib thing IS painful, especially the longer I am awake and moving around, but the lower back issues are what is really getting to me. It is a bitch to reach down for something or lift something as simple as a gallon of freaking milk and have your lower back painfully spasm. I really hate this. I feel like an invalid.

*I am sort of digging the new NBC show, Phenomenon. The one where spoon-bending sensation Uri Gellar and Mind Freek Cris Angel look for our next great magician slash illusionist.

*The Biggest Loser was rather uneventful this week. The product placement was decent, Jenn-O turkey. Never had it but it looks okay. The going green idea was kind of neat.

*I love having my Sister in Law here. The Boy adores her. It’s really weird that her husband has gone to stay on the other side of Florida because he wants to play golf with their Dad. He actually told my SiL that our home is “trashy”. I can’t believe that. Our home is very clean and it looks great! But I think it’s because we live in a “manufactured” home. He thinks it is beneath him to stay here. I am really stunned because I don’t run into many people with his mentality. I am always thinking about impoverished kids in Darfur or whatever, and most Americans I know have the same mindset… very charitable and non-judgemental. But this guy is way up into things like rims on cars and video games and all that. The more bling the better.

And what really pisses me off is the way he treats my SiL. My SiL and my wife are twins. And they are different personality-wise, but I love them both so much. And I think my SiL deserves to have someone who will adore her and take care of her and make her feel special the way I try to do with my wife. But he doesn’t. She completely dotes on him and he acts like he could not give two farts about anything she wants and it really makes me sad.

Oh well. Some women just put up with too much from assholes because they don’t think they deserve better. But they do.

We all do.

—Matt

P.S. In weight-related news, still no binges and the scale said “142″ today when I first got up at 3pm. I’m elated to be so damn close but on the other I think I’m probably dropping weight too fast. Maybe 1500 calories is a little too low. But then again, I’m so close I can start playing with “maintenance calories” soon enough…

I thought maybe I would take a moment to explain why there are always junk type stuff stuff in the house. Yes, it is true that my wife tries to eat healthy. But at the same time, she loves to bake and make sweets. She also buys more junk food than I do. I would never buy bags of chips and Doritos and stuff but she does.

Believe me, we’ve been down this road and discussed the whole thing and basically it came down to “I am a grown man and I have to control what I eat, regardless of what is in the house.”

It is frustrating, I won’t lie. I feel like if I was an alchoholic or a smoker my wife would take it seriously and not have booze and cigs lying around, but with food people think it’s different. My wife is the type of person who can buy a whole box of OREOs and literally eat one or two. And then  the whole thing just sits there for a week, taunting me…

So anyway, yes… we’ve had our issues and she knows it is hard for me but I think she underestimates how hard it is. But usually when we bake stuff like brownies and cakes she lets me take them all to work.

My wife has a lot of self-esteem and guilt issues and I love her so so so much I’d rather not have her think that she contributes to my weight struggle in any way. So that’s pretty much THAT whole situation.

She will not support me in losing weight and I do not ask her to anymore because she gets very upset at even the notion that she could be contributing…

In brighter news, I ordered one of those little “Mini-Pedal” bike things from Amazon.com. You know, the type that you can put anywhere and just peddle away the calories with your feet or arms. I got the one with the highest user rating versus price, it was about 35 bucks. Because…

Okay like today my back is killing me, there is NO WAY I am going to Gazelle or walk. But if I had that I could at least pedal and stay active while watching TV (or Blogging!).

I have some Vitalicious Chocolate Muffins in the oven. If you don’t know about Vitalicious, you have GOT to try them. Basically they are “healthy” brownies. In so many flavors, you can buy them pre=packaged or in the mix and bake them up yourself. Take my word for it, they are delicious and they come packed with protein and fiber and only 100 calories per muffin. I like mine with a squirt of fat free Reddi Whip or some Fat Free Cool Whip frozen, I swear it’s like you are eating ice cream and cake but you’re only eating like 140 calories, plus all that protein and fiber. It is one “cheat” that’s not cheating at all but you will feel like it is.

Their website is www.vitalicious.com

I swear, one Chocolate VitaMuffin + Scoop of frozen fat free cool whip + some fat free reddi whip on top = no guilt cake and ice cream.

—Matt

P.S. stepped on the scale today and it said “143.5″. Oh Mr. Scale you are too kind, my friend.

It has been really really hard around here to resist all this stuff. Currently there is a pizza in my house, some donuts, a huge slab of apple pie, some cookies, ice cream, crackers, potato chips and dip, candy, pumpkin pie…

 That’s not to mention all the regular food. And yet I have valiantly resisted. The hardest part is always when I’m supposed to be asleep. I’ll wake up at noon or 1pm and if nobody’s around, I just go to town.

But the scale is holding steady at 145 pounds, and this is at the “end of the day” when I’m fully hydrated and filled up on food. I tell myself I have come to far to slip up now. And these days, exercise is not a given. I have a lot of other obligations so not only is it hard to fit in, but I cannot exercise with the intensity or duration I once could. Sometimes just a half hour of Gazelle-ing (about two miles) is all I can manage.

Still, I am sticking to my 1500 calories a day, more or less and I think I’m on the right track.

Now to get some shut-eye.

—Matt

I was just watching that BBC in America show, “You are What You Eat.” I love that show. I’m so glad we have Knowlogy Cable now, it is so much better than any other cable company we’ve ever had.

There is a bottle of pee in my fridge because of the “24-hour urine collection” test the hospital ordered. I can’t tell you how bizarre that is to have this big red bottle in there.

I did Gazelle 5 miles today and I see a few people stopped by to read my Blog from this morning. I’ve just been really happy with myself lately because I’ve been managing to get some exercise in and eat right. I have not had a binge in over a week now, and I’m super psyched about that.

My S-i-L is staying with us right now. She’s also in the AF and she just got back from a 6-month tour in Iraq. The job she does is one of the less dangerous jobs over there, but that relatively speaking. She was in more danger every day over there than I have been here in Florida, that’s for sure. It’s so nice having her stay with us but what is weird is her husband is “not comfortable” here so he has elected to stay in a Hotel in town.

They have a weird relationship. He’s kind of “stuck up” so part of the reason he won’t stay here is because we live in a manufactured home. I love my house. It’s not like a run-down redneck trailer. It’s a nice house. But he won’t stay here at all. He also doesn’t like any of her family.

Now, I have known my wife and her family for over ten years now. We met in high school and have been together ever since. We got married in 2001. I love my In-Laws very much. But my Brother-in-Law, the one we are talking about… he doesn’t really like them. He’s a weird guy to figure out. He seems kind of nice but he also is very insistent on having his way. They’ve been married two years now I think. He spends a lot of $$$ on clothes and gadgets, golf and massages. They make more than we do but it’s not like they are “rollin in the dough”.

Hmmm…

Anyway, I really liked the new Britney Spears album, although certain tracks sound like cast-offs from Timbalands’s “Shock Value” album. “Danja” is the name of one of Brit’s producers on this album, and he is a Timbaland protege, and it sounds it…

It’s very dancey in a mid-90s synth kind of way. “Radar” and “Heaven on Earth” really stick out so far. As a parent, I just hope she straightens up her act in that respect because she is missing out.

I love being a Dad.

—Matt