Slimdude

Guess what, BSers! I am so HAPPY and PSYCHED right now!

My doctor just called and said, based on tests so far and my symptoms… I may have something called Cushing’s Syndrome.

Go ahead, Google it up.

I had never heard of it before, but apparently it is based on elevated Cortisol levels. And it causes every single little problem I have been having over the past few years.

The hypertension. The weight gain. My “moon face”. The stretch marks. The bone loss. The muscle and joint aches. On and on and on.

They are referring me to an endocrinologist to verify the diagnosis and apparently the treatment is to find the cause, which is usually a benign tumor somewhere… and remove it. They say the initial operation success rate is 80 percent and if it doesn’t work the first time they simply repeat the surgery.

So if they find out what is causing this and remove it, it will fix ALL my problems! It is still a little bit of a battle ahead to heal from the ribs and treat this bizarre syndrome, but I am just so happy to finally have some answers and know this is not all in my head!

—Matt

UGH… mornings are the worst. You’d think I’d feel great considering my body got to rest all night but that isn’t the case at all. I wake up so stiff and “sparkly”. Seriously, I don’t know how else to describe it. Most of the pain is near my neck and shoulder blades and then mid-back but then it radiates thru my entire body, to include my hands and legs and feet, which feel “buzzy” or “sparkly”.

UGH UGH UGH.

But I am up this morning because I have to go in to work to get on leave. I dread this whole thing. Dragging myself into the car and driving over there, the whole process of getting stuff signed off, et cetera. I am hoping to be back home by 8am at the latest and resume my position on the couch.

I mentioned to my wife I do not think I can watch The Boy by myself and she says that our friend might come over and help on Friday.

As far as diet goes, I did pretty good yesterday. It is really really hard to stick to planned snacks and meals when you have nothing to do besides watch TV and nap. But the scale says “149″ so that’s good.

As far as TV, I watched the SpongeBob marathon on Nick until my son and wife left for the friend’s house. I also watched “How Clean is Your House?” and “You Are What You Eat” on BBC America. Which I love. That Jillian is a trip. She is so mean to those people, but they really need it. And British people amuse me, “Lollies” and “Crisps” and “Chips” and all kinds of other words for foods and it is great. I wish America had a show like that, where it was about really tough love as far as obesity and eating is concerned.

Then in the afternoon I found myself watching a marathon of Project Runway Season 3, even though I knew who had won already. But I kept falling asleep. Season 4 begins on Wednesday.

I suppose today’s big TV thing will be The Biggest Loser, which comes on tonight.

I feel… really terrible right now. I can barely sleep so it’s like… um… did you ever see Fight Club where Edward Norton describes his life as an insomniac? That’s what I feel like. Like I’m just barely here… watching mindless TV and once in a while blogging…

oh well.

Maybe I’ll feel better later.

—Matt