Slimdude

Hey did that title get anyone’s attention? I like some ribs… once in a while…

Well guess what, I had forgotten my cell phone at work and when I got in there were multiple messages for me to call the hospital to discuss my CT Scan results. The messages sounded urgent and dire. So that was kind of distracting all night…

Then as soon as I got home at 7:30am work called and said the hospital called them and told them I had to come in ASAP. So my wife and I went and dropped off our son and then went to the hospital.

So are you ready for this, BSers?

I have SEVEN broken ribs! Four places in the back on my right, two on the left and one up top in the front. I have had them for at least 2 months, according to the radiologist.

They wanted to know how in the WORLD did I break seven ribs, and I have no idea. But this explains so much. When they first said that, I was thinking “I don’t have any chest pains…” but these breaks are all in the BACK of my ribcage. Except for that one.

So on one hand this is good news. I am not crazy. I have been working out and doing my job with SEVEN broken ribs! Last night on “Last One Standing” that Raiko guy had a broken rib and he was in so much pain he could not continue wrestling. He did not know it was a broken rib at the time… just like I had no idea.

So gentle walking is now the ONLY form of exercise I will engage in. No more throwing myself around with Leslie and no more Power 90 or weights or anything. Until I heal. I probably would have healed already except for all my doctors kept MISSING this until the radiologist caught it on my last X-ray and ordered the CT scan.

They also X-rayed my lower back this morning to make sure I have just pulled a muscle and I didn’t have any disc problems there.

Okay, so this is a good thing. Now we know. Matt is not insane. Matt is in pain because he has seven broken ribs. He can heal and then maybe by January ‘08 I can start working on running and lifting and all that again. This is great.

Except for one small thing : WHAT is causing my bones and joints to do this? Remember I already had “mild degeneration” in my discs in my neck. BUT perhaps those are not causing ANY of my back pain. Then my left foot hurts sometimes and my knees ache.

So we need to figure out if there is something there causing me to break bones and my joints to have issues.

So more blood tests were done and I now have a referral to get a complete bone scan done. I should be able to do that before the year is out.

It is so nice to finally have some answers. I can go in and be like “Look, I’m not a pansy! I’ve had seven broken ribs FOR MONTHS now and I’ve still been working hard!”

Now to figure out HOW and WHY.

—Matt

 P.S. A bonus joke : God was looking down on Adam, all alone in the Garden of Eden and He said “Adam, you look so sad. What’s the matter?”

Adam said ” Well God, I’m lonely.”

And God said ” Well Adam, I can make you a mate. Someone beautiful and intelligent. Someone who will kindly take care of you and cater to all your needs. All it will cost you is you whole arm and a few toes…”

And Adam said “Gee God, that’s a lot…. what can I get for just a rib?”

Ba-dum-ching!