Slimdude

Okay here is the thing : It is said that to have a Samurai / Bushido mindset you are supposed to live each day like it is your last. Right?

Okay then. I keep reading where sometimes people who suffer from extreme arthritis or pain conditions (whatever it is I have…) have to “pace themselves”. And that is true. On these days when I Gazelle, like… 10 miles and then I’m mowing the lawn outside and everything… well by the time it’s bedtime believe me I am in a lot of pain.

So maybe the next day I’m completely hurting from the start, right?

So they say on your “good days” to pace yourself so you won’t have a bad day the next day. But me, I get to feeling like “Oh I can tolerate the pain pretty well today.” and I end up doing all kinds of stuff I maybe shouldn’t. This week, Sunday was good but then Monday night I popped my chest. These past few days I’ve been in a lot more pain and discomfort but we have been having a lot of rain so I think that may aggravate it.

Well okay I’m on a profile now and I might get discharged from the military for all these medical problems and I hate that. It takes so much away from my pride and masculinity that basically all I can do is Gazelle. I haven’t even been able to do the Leslie Sansone DVDs. I can sort of lift my son, he’s about 30 pounds but that is my thresh-hold these days.

I suppose — from what I’ve read on the Net and Wiki, a lot of pain conditions will be bad for a week and then go into remission. So I keep reminding myself that Sunday I felt really really good into Monday and that will return.

Maybe I should be more “Tao” about things. Instead of wanting to Gazelle a Marathon, perhaps I should use that time and energy to do something less physical that would mean something to the world. Like maybe spend the 8 hours writing letters to children or something. Or something like that.

Because Gazelle-ing 8 hours is going to kill me for the rest of that weekend.

I need to get away from the mindset that these physical accomplishments define me.

I guess… before when I was so athletic and slim physicality was so important to me… being slim still is and I am getting there slowly but surely. But I just can’t do too much physically anymore.

As sad as it sound, sometimes GAzelle-ing briskly for an hour or two is very very difficult.

I need to find some new focuses besides working out, physical stuff… I need to redefine who I am—

Perhaps I will make a rule to limit myself to 90 minutes of formal exercise at the most each day. And I should maybe focus more on my family, spirituality, and humanitarian things.

Any suggestions as to hobbies or good charities or good projects would be mucho appreciated.

—Matt

So things have gotten better, kind of…

 Part of my Lab results (for conditions that may cause my pain and arthritis) came back and they are all normal. Nevertheless I have been advised to seek more second opinions.I may be referred to an off-base rheumatologist.

I injured my chest at work trying to push on some AGE and that was stupid… something MUST be wrong here but I am very careful to ask them NOT to write me any scripts for pain drugs because I don’t want them to think I am looking for pills. I am also NOT looking to get discharged.

So all that is up in the air…

Good news is this morning when I got home I was “148″ and when I wake up my weight is frequently “145″.

My wife started baking for the holidays and my son is going to school again today. We are having a Halloween party, a small one… this weekend and I think a few people are coming by. I hope you all are doing great.

—Matt