Slimdude

So today I did end up Gazelle-ing about miles in all. I ate much less calories than I normally do (about 1000) but I just could not bear the thought of all my hard work this week being for nothing at the very end.

 So now all I have to do is start my “No Binge” streak tonight and I’ll be okay. For me to be “On-Track” as far as my desired plans, I need to weigh-in at 148 in the morning. I was below that about halfway through the week… about 147… but then I kept snacking and then of course last night’s complete binge.

 Today we went car shopping in the afternoon for a second car and I was surprised how many places were not even open but we bought a 2004 Kia Optima for about 2000 less than it’s supposed book value. I like it. It is white and it has power everything plus lots of stupid extras that I loved like new tires and a new battery and lots of cup holders and a kick-ass Air Conditioning and even a CD player. It’ll make a fantastic second car I think. It has about 60,000 miles on it.

I was watching this show on VH1 today called “Smartest Model” and there is one guy who is normal-looking… like not fat or anything but because he is a model, his “belly” is holding him back and I completely sympathized because that is exactly the boat I am in…

 I’m sure some people notice my “Goal Weight” of 140 and think that is awefully low for a dude. But if you have not read any of my previous entries, let me explain… that weight is the weight at which I have a very flat stomach and abs and everything. It is the difference between “normal okay dude weight” and “slimdude” weight.

Right now I am around 150 pounds and that is fine. I was 172 in 2006 and I started out on this site at 163. So 150 is great. But I don’t have abs and I do just look… let’s say… “fluffy”. How about that?

So that dude on the show is working to drop about 10-15 pounds and I am doing the same thing. It’s completely vanity weight. But it doesn’t mean it bothers me any less to look at pictures where I had abs and I was more “in-shape” than I am now. I want to get back there and I still believe I can.

—Matt

Good morning, BSers. First of all, thanks “zamboni” for stopping by. Yes, I have seen Second Lions and it is pretty good. And I do take a “Joint Supplement” which is MSM plus Glucosamine.

Last night… I don’t know what happened to me and all sensibility I had but I just ATE and ATE and ATE at about midnight. I had several rolls dipped in syrup, I had cookies, I had oatmeal, I had waffles, I had every little carb my body does not need and I’m not even sure why because even if I was hungry I surely ate past the feeling of being satisfied.

It is upsetting because I know I was having a great week. At one point I was down to about 147 and now I am not sure if I will even be able to “break even” when I step on that scale tomorrow morning.

Nevertheless… I go on with a positive attitude, and some new challenges. I have decided to start a “No Eating / Snacking / Bingeing @ Night Challenge” on the forums. I think I may have started one before but abandoned it. If I can find it again I’ll just bump it up. I think there may already be a No Binge-ing challenge going and if so, I’ll just jump on that.

Our Thanksgiving Walking Challenge is going really well… I think I will be around 240 miles now. I think I will hit 300 before Halloween. I have decided to do a “Gazelle-A-Thon” and before that, a “mini” version. They will be 15 miles and 27 miles, respectively.

 I am going to do the Mini version on Friday night, November the 2nd. I will start at 8:30pm and give myself 4.5 hours to complete it. Then on Nov 9th I will try and do 27 miles on The Gazelle. It’s not going to be easy by any means.

Anyway, because of last night… my plan is for a little “compensation”… today I already did 6 miles on The Gazelle, and I will try to eat about 1000 calories in the course of the day. Sunday I’ll do another 4-10 miles on The Gazelle and eat about 1200 calories and then I start GraveYard Shift again and I’ll give myself about 600 calories to start off with.

But really I want to stop all this binge-ing all the time. On a normal day, I eat around 1600 calories and I feel fine, even if I exercise and I am active. I wake up at night (or in the late morning when I’m on Grave Yard Shift) and just have this urgent voice in my head for CaRBS! and FATS! but if I just get some water and some diet soda… and wait it out or get back to bed I am fine.

It’s not real hunger.

It’s all mind games.

—Matt