Slimdude

I feel so tired tonight. Like, unbelievably level “10″ tired, and I have to go to work in less than an hour… I got home today and fell asleep by 9am but by noon I was back up again.

This past weekend I decided to take a road trip and visit my Mom on the other side of the FL panhandle and my wife had to work so it was just me and The Boy and we had a pretty good time but my sister , who is about 12 or 13… well she spent the night with us while I was out there and she is so good but she was sick and she just got sicker as the night went on so there was that… and also for her age she seems so UN self reliant. Maybe I’m wrong but I think by the time you get that old you can start doing things like get your own drinks and food and snacks and … I don’t know. She just makes you do everything for her. She’s nice about it and polite but I don’t remember being that sheltered by my mom. She’s definitely raised her daughter differently than my brother and me.

 Yeah I’m 27 and my brother is 25 but my Mom had a girl later on and I think she’s 12. Maybe 11. Maybe 13. I forget. Like I said she’s a good girl but she just… she doesn’t do things for herself. Plus she was sick so that made it worse.

At least The Boy was good. But anyway I had Sunday nite off for Columbus Day so I returned home on Monday but I knew Monday morning at 9am when I felt exhausted from the weekend that it was going to be a tough one… oh yeah and my car got stuck in some mud and I had to get a tow truck to pull me out which cost 115 bucks!!

So yeah I was exhausted driving home on Monday and then my wife was sick but she went to work ANYWAY when I told her just to call in sick. I napped from 8pm to 10pm but I was dead tired all night I had no motivation to fix anything and all the jobs I got assigned I never could do because of some reason or another so then at 7am, like 30 minutes before I’m supposed to leave they give me some BS job and I was feeling tired and sick and I was pissed that they waited until 7am to even give me this so I didn’t end up leaving until after 8am and I missed an appointment I’ll have to make up later but anyway I got to sleep by 9am and woke up and fought off one binge at about 10:30am but around noon I got up with just a slight craving and I gave in… what’s worse is I wasn’t even really hungry at all and I remember thinking the food wasn’t even that good.

I’m so retarded I should have just gone back to bed but instead I felt too full and sick to fall asleep… I added up the extra calories and it seemed to be about 1600 so I decided to walk 8 miles = 800 calories plus skip the first two meals of the day… another 800 and I’d be okay. Up at noon?? Am I crazy? I’m running on THREE HOURS of sleep.

I know it seems a little weird but with everything else going badly the last thing I wanted was to gain weight. So I decided just to do it and then start fresh. And you know, the scale still shows me steady at “150″ and “151″ depending on when I weigh.

Argh.

I know this seems like a downer post but I’ll get thru this. It’s just that right now I’m tired and I’m not eating right and all… but it’ll get better.

It always does.

—Matt

P.S. Here’s one more Positive Note: my back is killing me. (note sarcasm)