Slimdude

you know, BSers… after having such a fantastic week, the last thing I wanted to do was crawl on here on Sunday afternoon and have bad news on the diet front.

Long story short, I had the grand-daddy of all binges last night. I can’t even explain why. I got up at maybe 11pm or so… I was not even that hungry. A diet soda and some Saturday Night Live would have easily satisfied me. And yet… I gave in… in a major way. I know I was not hungry because I did the “hunger test”. That’s where I ask myself if I could eat some celery or carrots or even fruit. You see, my theory is, If I am really hungry and it’s not just a craving you’ll eat those things. But no… I started with some OREO crisps and it was a massive downhill slide from there.

The scale numbers were incredibly cruel this morning and I am extremely dissapointed in myself that I blew my streak.

BUT! I refuse to let it get me permanently down for the day. I was too full to eat breakfast so I just had some coffee with some sugar-free creamer and for lunch I had a spinach salad with tofu which was very good. I have also Gazelled ten miles today. I have to do some things for “damage control” and also the exercise makes me feel better in mood.

I’m watching The Truth About Food on Discovery Health.

You know what? Taking it one day at a time again, and I’m going to see if, just one day at a time… October can be a completely binge-free month!

BTW, had a great time yesterday with my parents and when I took The Boy to the store to look for CDs, he walked right up to the display of “Best Sellers” and picked out the last copy they had of Kanye West’s “Graduation”, which I did not even see!! He grabbed it and held it up to me and so I let him play extra long in the toy car things in front of the grocery store.

Gosh it was so hard to get on here and admit to that terrible binge last night… I was riding such a high and I was so damn proud of myself. I always think I’ve got that habit licked and then… gee… you know… the kind of things I was telling myself last night : “I’ve been so good this week, I deserve this.” <—  That is the thought that triggered it. And then once I started, it was “Oh heck, I’ve already eaten three bagels, cookies, etc… might as well have some peanut butter and waffles…”

I’ve got to learn not to listen to that kind of thing in my head. And I’m not gonna let it keep me down. I refuse to do that!

—Matt