Wednesday Evening Thoughts…
Comments(3) Howdy BuddySlimmers… hope you brought your Reading Glasses, this could be a rambling post. Because I am in a Rambling Mood.
Today was one of those days that I just had a really really great time @ work. If I have not mentioned it before… I am in the U.S. Military and my job is to fix computer type stuff on jets. If that sounds like a “sit-down” type job, well… the truth is, 25% of it is. But there is also a large physical aspect to it, too.
There are things to carry and haul, pick up and put down, climb this, walk over here. You never ever stop moving. On one hand, I’m grateful for having such an active job. On the other hand, it really makes it difficult on my back and all…
That doggone spine thing. I really really try to “Push It Out” and not complain. Nobody wants to hear about how much my neck hurts, my back hurts, my arms tingle. Not my wife, not my co-workers, probably not even you BSers. Hahahaha. BSers. <—-That’s funny right there.
But I’m hoping since this is like my own private journal you all will cut me some slack and let me complain a little. I just know people do not understand the specific type of pain I am in. On a “good day”… when I’m not as active or my Meds are working… it merely feels like little pin points or ants or something crawling around my neck and back and shoulders. That’s like a “3″. On a worse day, it really feels like somebody stabbing down into my shoulders with knives. Over and over and over and over. All … day… long… but ! With my type of attitude I just try to smile and get on with life because my mentality is this:
there are people in this world who must deal with SO MUCH MORE adversity. I’m inspired by people like Ash who battle their own problems PLUS they are supportive of signifigant others with problems. Or KamaPerry ( I think that’s right) who is helping her parents get thru tough times and all the while maintaining good diet and exercise habits the best she can.
Yes, it’s true all you BSers inspire me on a daily basis and for those of you who are Americans I keep you in mind when I try every day to contribute my very itty bitty part to what keeps us safe and free and democracy intact. You pay taxes and I am trying to give you your $$$s worth. Hahahaha.
Okay so… yeah I love my job, I love the military, I love all you BSers and my back hurts. No this is not the drugs talking, my meds are all mild relaxers and to be honest they just barely work. I am considering asking for something stronger for at night.
So a little “diet” talk before I turn in for the night. It is about Quarter ’til 9pm and I am sitting here not hungry at all. I had dinner at about 5:30 and I feel fine. I had fish and veggies and a cup of sugar free jellO which I shared with my son.
Who is sick with a cold BTW…
But here is the Bizarre Thing : as soon as I fall asleep, within the hour I will wake up with an Urge to Eat. And then, no matter how many times I fight it off, it will keep occuring every hour until about 2 or 3am.
How to describe this feeling?
It is like a desperate, urgent need to feast on Sweet, Fatty and/or salty carbs. I don’t wake up thinking “Oh I’m hungry I need an apple…”
No.
The feeling is always “Well, I need some cookies and ice cream, N O W!” But if I can resist for about 15 minutes, I feel fine again. The trouble is, I have to do it again and again all freaking night long!!
Oh well. Maybe I will succeed tonight. NO! I should say ” I will succeed tonight!” and then if I don’t who cares? But if I do, at least I put that Vibe out there to begin with.
On the issue of having stuff in the house… well… this is a very touchy subject for me. The truth of the matter is this : my wife buys “junk food” more often than I do, and she also loves to bake as a hobby and she hopes to make it a career. So there will always be things like cookies and ice cream and brownies and cake around.
There was a time period where I wondered if she was trying to sabotage me for some reason and we had a heart-2-heart talk about it, and she said she really was not trying to hurt me but she simply had her own food problems which is that she likes fast food a lot and she buys junk food. My wife does not have a weight issue at all, I’m sure many of you out there have spouses who eat whatever they want and their weight never changes at all. My wife is like this. She can eat like, a few potato chips and be satisfied but even when she does things like snack on junk food all day her weight never changes at all. Meanwhile I have to work my butt off just to stay at the 160s. It can be frustrating but I choose to view it as more humorous than anything.
And the reason I am kind of hesitatant to Blog about it is because I never want my wife to feel guilty about her own eating habits or about sabotaging me. The truth is that I am a food addict and even if there were only healthy things in the house I would simply eat 1000s of calories of “healthy food”.
I’m not going to lie, it does make it harder sometimes. Like right there, on this very Entertainment Center, there is a box of OREOS and a box of Whoppers. Today my wife made cupcakes which are supposed to be part of a cake she is making her Mom. So the kitchen has these wonderful chocolate cupcakes, as well as several pots of frosting laying around. It’s all very tempting. But the temptations of life will always be there. That’s just part of living. So rather than be frustrated by all this, I choose to accept responsibilty for what I put into my mouth, see the humor in the whole thing, and to look at it like one of those “Biggest Loser” challenges. Can I resist the temptations?
Do I have the strength to turn to this Blog later on tonight when I inevitably wake up wanting to eat all this stuff?
Gee, I hope so…
—Matt
