Slimdude

Well, BuddySlimmers, I shall be on the road this weekend so I’ll probably catch up to you on Tuesday. I hope you all stay safe and have a great weekend. Don’t stuff yourselves, make good and healthy eating choices where you can and enjoy your families.

I’m going to visit my wife’s family and mine… they both live in the same city, of course! Because that’s where my wife and I met years ago (remember we are high school sweet-hearts).

I will try to get in some activity this weekend. I have my walking shoes, my DVDs and my MP3 player. I plan on picking the best foods available but I may have some treats in moderation… who knows?

I did lose ONE POUND this week. So now I’m at 161. I tell myself, well… that’s better than GAINING weight. But I’m still unhappy over-all with how my weight loss adventure is going.

Oh well.

They moved our House-Closing to Tuesday. And next week I am supposed to move to GraveYard Shift. I have worked the “Mid-Shift” / “OverNite” shift before (11:30pm - 7:30am) and it has no effect on my dieting habits other than I am TIRED ALL THE TIME. My natural routine is to wake early and get to bed by 8 or 9… so being up all night makes me tired and grouchy.

Do not expect to see as much Positivity from Matt in the future.

—Matt

It’s Thursday evening and I’m feeling kind of “Blah”. My weight-loss is going nowhere. I’m just maintaining 160-ish. I know if I could just stop eating at night…

Add to that: my back and neck hurts like crazy. It’s a level “8″ here, people. I’ve even taken meds for the evening and it still hurts.

Ah, well… that’s life I guess. My son and my wife are out to dinner with my MiL. I think I will clean up a little around here and get to bed.

My work wants me to go to Graveyard Shift next week. Great, I think. So now I can be tired all the time. I’m not in a great mood tonight, am I?

I think I’ll put on a good album and clean up this house a bit.

—Matt

Howdy BuddySlimmers… hope you brought your Reading Glasses, this could be a rambling post. Because I am in a  Rambling Mood.

 Today was one of those days that I just had a really really great time @ work. If I have not mentioned it before… I am in the U.S. Military and my job is to fix computer type stuff on jets. If that sounds like a “sit-down” type job, well… the truth is, 25% of it is. But there is also a large physical aspect to it, too.

There are things to carry and haul, pick up and put down, climb this, walk over here. You never ever stop moving. On one hand, I’m grateful for having such an active job. On the other hand, it really makes it difficult on my back and all…

 That doggone spine thing. I really really try to “Push It Out” and not complain. Nobody wants to hear about how much my neck hurts, my back hurts, my arms tingle. Not my wife, not my co-workers, probably not even you BSers. Hahahaha. BSers. <—-That’s funny right there.

But I’m hoping since this is like my own private journal you all will cut me some slack and let me complain a little. I just know people do not understand the specific type of pain I am in. On a “good day”… when I’m not as active or  my Meds are working… it merely feels like little pin points or ants or something crawling around my neck and back and shoulders. That’s like a “3″. On a worse day, it really feels like somebody stabbing down into my shoulders with knives. Over and over and over and over. All … day… long… but ! With my type of attitude I just try to smile and get on with life because my mentality is this:

 there are people in this world who must deal with SO MUCH MORE adversity. I’m inspired by people like Ash who battle their own problems PLUS they are supportive of signifigant others with problems. Or KamaPerry ( I think that’s right) who is helping her parents get thru tough times and all the while maintaining good diet and exercise habits the best she can.

Yes, it’s true all you BSers inspire me on a daily basis and for those of you who are Americans I keep you in mind when  I try every day to contribute my very itty bitty part to what keeps us safe and free and democracy intact. You pay taxes and I am trying to give you your $$$s worth. Hahahaha.

 Okay so… yeah I love my job, I love the military, I love all you BSers and my back hurts. No this is not the drugs talking, my meds are all mild relaxers and to be honest they just barely work. I am considering asking for something stronger for at night.

So a little “diet” talk before I turn in for the night. It is about Quarter ’til 9pm and I am sitting here not hungry at all. I had dinner at about 5:30 and I feel fine. I had fish and veggies and a cup of sugar free jellO which I shared with my son.

 Who is sick with a cold BTW…

But here is the Bizarre Thing : as soon as I fall asleep, within the hour I will wake up with an Urge to Eat. And then, no matter how many times I fight it off, it will keep occuring every hour until about 2 or 3am.

How to describe this feeling?

It is like a desperate, urgent need to feast on Sweet, Fatty and/or salty carbs. I don’t wake up thinking “Oh I’m hungry I need an apple…”

 No.

The feeling is always “Well, I need some cookies and ice cream, N O W!” But if I can resist for about 15 minutes, I feel fine again. The trouble is, I have to do it again and again all freaking night long!!

Oh well. Maybe I will succeed tonight. NO! I should say ” I will succeed tonight!” and then if I don’t who cares? But if I do, at least I put that Vibe out there to begin with.

On the issue of having stuff in the house… well… this is a very touchy subject for me. The truth of the matter is this : my wife buys “junk food” more often than I do, and she also loves to bake as a hobby and she hopes to make it a career. So there will always be things like cookies and ice cream and brownies and cake around.

There was a time period where I wondered if she was trying to sabotage me for some reason and we had a heart-2-heart talk about it, and she said she really was not trying to hurt me but she simply had her own food problems which is that she likes fast food a lot and she buys junk food. My wife does not have a weight issue at all, I’m sure many of you out there have spouses who eat whatever they want and their weight never changes at all. My wife is like this. She can eat like, a few potato chips and be satisfied but even when  she does things like snack on junk food all day her weight never changes at all. Meanwhile I have to work my butt off just to stay at the 160s. It can be frustrating but I choose to view it as more humorous than anything.

And the reason I am kind of hesitatant to Blog about it is because I never want my wife to feel guilty about her own eating habits or about sabotaging me. The truth is that I am a food addict and even if there were only healthy things in the house I would simply eat 1000s of calories of “healthy food”.

I’m not going to lie, it does make it harder sometimes. Like right there, on this very Entertainment Center, there is a box of OREOS and a box of Whoppers. Today my wife made cupcakes which are supposed to be part of a cake she is making her Mom. So the kitchen has these wonderful chocolate cupcakes, as well as several pots of frosting laying around. It’s all very tempting. But the temptations of life will always be there. That’s just part of living. So rather than be frustrated by all this, I choose to accept responsibilty for what I put into my mouth, see the humor in the whole thing, and to look at it like one of those “Biggest Loser” challenges. Can I resist the temptations?

Do I have the strength to turn to this Blog later on tonight when I inevitably wake up wanting to eat all this stuff?

Gee, I hope so…

—Matt

I only have time for a quick post this AM, BuddySlimmers.

 Thanks for all the support and comments… this is a habit I have been trying to break for several years now. I still think I can do it, but it is so difficult. Almost all the suggestions I have tried but I think really what it comes down to is my own battle in my head.

 I have to be tough enough to wake up at night, feel that Urge and say “no!” and get back to bed, drink some water, blog, have some tea… whatever… I have to undo this behavior pattern.

 I have to realize that no matter how hard I work out and how well I eat, I am ruining all my efforts by eating at night. It IS THE MISSING PIECE of this puzzle.

But I’m not giving up. Today is a new day.

—Matt

Good Morning, Buddyslimmers.

You know, when I started this whole weight-loss adventure on BuddySlim, I told myself I would finally rid my body of this extra 20 pounds I have been carrying around for two years. I was fed up with tight-fitting uniforms, feeling less-than-myself, and a pudgy face and round belly.

I had already lost about ten pounds by exercising, eating better and eating a little less during the day. And then I had to admit that I have a bad habit with snacking at night. And I discovered that most major trainers and nutritionists, from Dr. Oz to Bob Greene, recommend you stop eating a few hours before bed.

I have tried very hard to initiate this rule but it is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Even last night I found myself eating graham crackers and pudding. And then of course, you figure… well… I could go for a bowl of cereal, too… and one thing leads to another until I just kind of go back to bed feeling overly full.

I have had a few “streaks” in the past where I was able to break the habit. Last fall was one of them. I actually got down below 150 at one point. But then… I don’t know… the habit came back again. So I know that unless I can break this habit once and for all, I will never ever achieve my dream weight of 140 and be able to maintain it. It simply will not happen. This is something I must do! This is my battle! This is my war!

I tell ya what…. I weighed in this AM at 161 pounds. And some of that is from what I ate last night. So… I will try really really super duper hard to do my exercise, eat right, and enforce the NO SNACK RULE after 6:30pm Today, Tomorrow and Thursday. Just focus on three days. And I’m willing to bet that by Friday morning I am below 160 again.

And then all I have to do is focus on Friday, Sat, Sun and Monday. Four more days. It’s Labor Day weekend and I bet I can focus on the people and events and not worry about food. I bet I can make really great healthy choices and by the time Tuesday rolls around and I step on the scale again I’ll be right on track at 157 or lower.

But dang this eating cut-off rule is hard. Oh well. Nobody ever said this was going to be easy. I kind of expected it would be. But it’s not. It’s really tough.

—Matt

Aren’t Mondays great? Especially for dieters / exercisers? You tell yourself “It’s the beginning of the week… time to start fresh and kick this thing off right!”

And guess what?! It’s true. I weighed-in this morning at 160 pounds after having a very good Sunday. My hope is to be 157 by next Sunday… but I won’t be able to weigh-in because we are visiting our families for Labor Day. The last day I will be able to weigh-in is Friday morning and then on Tuesday morning. But let’s hope the numbers are right around 157.

I do so well when I can enforce that eating cut-off time. A commenter suggested that perhaps I could do a snack at night, but the trouble with that is… I feel like I am re-enforcing a habit that I need to end. A very small snack like a sugar free popsicle or sugar-free cocoa is fine. I think peanut butter on toast might be a bit of overkill for me and it might lead to further snacking.

Marge sent me a great idea about… just not leaving the bedroom at all. So maybe if I took some water and maybe even some gum with me to bed and then not go into the living room / kitchen area at all at night. That might work, too.

Okay so here are some thoughts that motivate me, and they are probably similar for you, too:

*Clothes - I have a handful of clothes I cannot fit into anymore and I like them. Bought them all when I was 20 pounds lighter and they have just been sitting in my closet for over 2 years. It’s about time to get back into them. Not to mention all my uniforms are meant for a 140 pound person. I hate squeezing into them every day.

*The AF Ball is Sept 14th and I’d love to be around 153 by then. MY wedding anniversary is the week after that — but we are using the Ball to celebrate.

*I’d love for THIS WEEK to finally be the week I break below 160 and keep it there. Never ever do I want to see “160″ again in my life.

*By the end of Sept, I’d love to be below 150. On Sept 29th, I’m supposed to weigh-in at 149. I will do the Happy Happy Joy Dance.

*And of course, by the end of Oct, if I play this game right-O, I’m supposed to be 140 pounds and then I begin the lifelong work / play of maintenance.

*It’ll be very interesting to see my family this weekend and then see them again at my Cousins wedding on Nov 30th. Because it’ll be about a 20 pounds difference in 3 months.

Hopefully.

—Matt

We all love our kids don’t we?

And we desperately do not want OUR food issues to become theirs. We don’t want our daughters’ obsessing about their weight, or our sons to be embarrassed in the gym locker rooms. And yet we want them to be healthy and to exercise.

It really really bugs me when people constantly give my son treats. Like an avalanche of ice cream and cookies and cake. French fries. It drives me almost bonkers. I try to set a good example for him of eating well and active living and it seems like everywhere I turn people are trying to counteract that. No wonder all our kids are getting fat. We tell ourselves it’s somebody else doing it… but it’s US! We encourage our kids to be less active, I think and we feed them Chef Boyardee and potato chips and think nothing of it.

Well I’m not. I’m just not. Period.

I’m going to teach my son to eat healthy without making a big deal out of it. I’m going to teach him the importance of daily activity. That’s all there is to it.

Lucky Charms, indeed.

—Matt

I’m being honest even though it’s hard to admit in print. I was on Buddyslim a few times last night and finally I did give in and fall through and had too much food. It was about 1am.

But… well… I feel like I did make an effort and that is the first time I did that. So maybe I am moving in the right direction?? I’m still going to eat well today, I’ve already walked 4 miles. Tonight I will once again make a Supreme Effort to not eat after 6:30pm and instead log onto BuddySlim.

I may have to accept that it will be difficult at first. I keep expecting it to be simple and easy just to not get up and eat at night but I need to accept that it will be hard at first. I will have to fight that feeling multiple times per night. I hope it will dimish over time.

I was 162 this morning and in order to stay on track I’ll need to lose 5 pounds this week. It’s tough but it’s do-able. But even if I lose just one or two pounds, that’ll be GREAT. Especially if I can stop eating at night.

—Matt

Well BuddySlimmers, I am up at 10:30pm doing what I pledged I would do since Day One on this site but I never did. But tonight I am…

I went to bed at 9pm originally and of course here at 10:30 I found myself awakened by the Binging Spirits from Hell, who reminded me that today I bought some Sugar Free Vanilla Pudding that would taste awfully good mixed with some Cheerios and some Reddi Whip. And what to use to dip that mixture with, oh yes of course the GRaham Cracker snacks you bought for The Boy!

Oh and those OREOs are still around, aren’t they? Mmmmm….

But instead, I drank a bottle of water and popped in a piece of chewing gum, and here I am reading Blogs and writing a new entry to my own.

It is Thundering outside.

I started a thread in the Weight Loss Support Forum that will serve as a companion to this blog to chronicle my struggle not to snack at night. It’s strange, just a few minutes ago the compulsion was overwhelming and now it is pretty much gone and I have not even been up ten minutes.

“The Landslide” in the title of this post refers to the fact that I have come across several blog entries lately where the author writes of feeling guilty for messing up their diet by having ” a few slices of pizza” or a “sliver of cake”.

Let me tell you something, that stuff in the long term will not mess up your diet. Would it have been better to have something healthier for the calories? Of course. But the main thing is, never ever ever tell youself “Oh well I had the cookies already, might as well have some cake too” or “well I ate those chips and a meatball hoagie, might as well have a big bowl of ice cream…”

NO! THAT is the Landslide! If you have a minor slip, try to do some exercise like an hour walk to help and make your next meal or snack the best possible and you will be JUST FINE! And you’ll be proud and I’ll be proud and we’ll get Slim together!

—Matt

Well, BuddySlimmers… I failed to make good on my promise. I swore up and down that I would get on here and Post and Read Blogs instead of stuffing my face. And I failed to do it. I whizzed right by the Computer and indulged in my nightly habit of “pigging out”. It is very tempting to lay blame elsewhere, since I’m pretty sure I am not the one who bought those OREO cookies, of which I had about ten. But ultimately, the responsibility is mine.

So I’ve been on BuddySlim for what… 3 weeks now? Two? And I’m still 162. I’ve lost one measly pounds since I started this whole “Weight-Loss” thing. I’ve said over and over again that I know the missing puzzle piece is : I must set a cut-off time for eating and STICK TO IT. That is the only sane way to lose this last 22 pounds and reclaim my former flat stomach.

I remain positive. I still think I can do it. For over two years I have tried to end this habit and struggled and yet… something inside me refuses to give up and I am convinced that someday… perhaps much sooner than I think! — I will look back and laugh at how hard this was. I’ll remember the days when I ate bowl after bowl of ice cream with only Conan O’Brien as company. It will be a me of the past… a ghost that haunts me with visions of pudgy cheeks and love handles.

But it will only be a ghost. And I will have moved on. 20 pounds lighter and much happier.

—Matt